Moving On From Someone.
Some tips for how to deal with a break-up, from my own and experiences of other people.
I imagine if you’re reading this you’ve recently gone through a break-up, and are looking for ways to help deal with the loss and confusion that often comes along with recently losing someone you were close with for so long. Break-ups are tough on everyone involved, and if you never get too experience one; well you’re lucky. Break-ups don’t always have to be a bad thing though, whether you’ve escaped a toxic relationship or you simply grew apart; this will be a huge learning curve for you, and you may learn so much more about what you want from a future relationship and what you don’t. Either way, you want to stop feeling the way you do right now, as quickly as possible, and simply move the fuck on.
Do Grieve.
It is crucial that you spend some time actually grieving the loss of the relationship or whatever you had with this person. Simply pretending you’re fine and over it straight away will only come back to bite you harder at a later date. Don’t force yourself to go out getting utterly hammered with your friends if you really don’t feel like it. Pretending you’re fine on the dance-floor while dancing to Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix, with hopes they will see you having a great time when you’re actually not, is just kidding yourself. Don’t go on the rampage or decide to take revenge. Having rebounds with people straight away when you’re not in the right head space may make you feel less lonely in that instant, but it won’t make you feel better afterwards. It may remind you of what you’ve lost, or make you feel even more lonely. Especially if you’re after some kind of revenge and jealously tactic and it just doesn’t have the desired effect. So do spend time crying in your dressing gown over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, and just let it all out rather than bottling up your emotions and pretending that you’re fine.
Remove From Life.
If you’re spending a lot of time on social media searching for what they’re up to, or posting 234,432 selfies on Instagram to show them what they’re missing, then you’re focusing too much on making them regret things. Which means you still care too much on what they think and not on yourself. Do yourself a favour if you can, and just delete them. If you still have them on social media for the wrong reasons then you aren’t giving yourself the space to move on properly. Sure, add them and be civil when you’re completely over them; but for now you’re just setting yourself up for more hurt. Especially if you decide to send a drunken Snapchat and you just get ignored, and therefore more hurt. Stop wondering and obsessing over what they may be up to, and stop putting yourself back weeks and weeks of progress. Don’t give them the opportunity to message you and add to your confusion, and don’t give it back. It’s so hard, so if you can’t bring yourself to make that step, then at least mute/hide their stories from your feeds; and you’ll thank yourself later.
Keep Away From Places They Will Be.
If you know they go to a certain bar/pub every Thursday with their mates, do not try and ‘bump’ into them there. Not only will you hinder any progress you’ve made so far, but if you get ignored by them then it may feel like a punch to the face, and leave you feeling dejected and angry. It will also look like you’ve just turned up there deliberately. Don’t be that creepy ex. Of course sometimes it is unavoidable seeing them, especially if you live near each other or share mutual friends. If they do end up talking to you, it will also end up making you more upset, because if you think that they might want to get back with you after one friendly conversation, it’s unlikely, and only getting your hopes up. If they do want you back just after one conversation, its probably not for the right reasons and they aren’t the one for you.
These are just a few good examples of ways to try to move on, but there are many others and some will work better for you.
