Please leave my Vagina alone
…thank you.
The first time I watched porn, I was confused.
I saw the women’s genitalia, but at the same time, I did not see anything.
What I mean by this is, that there was nothing to see.
There was no genitalia, there was just a tiny hole.
I looked down at myself, looked down at my vagina.
I did not have just a tiny hole — there was a lot more down there.
I was confused and I was puzzled.
The last time I looked like those women in porn was when I was a little girl. When I had the vagina of a child.
The feeling of not being ‘right’ down there was even more facilitated when jokes about ‘camel toes’ came up. Seriously. Camel toes.
For all of those who do not know: ‘Camel toe’ is a term to refer to female genitalia that is visible through trousers, leggings, bikini bottoms — nearly everything that covers them. And because of the striking resemblance of the female genitalia to the foot of a desert animal with two humps on its back (yes, that’s irony), it’s been called camel toe ever since.
It is funny, I get it. But I don’t get that we act like it would be something awkward when it’s something completely normal. This is the female body. If you like to see the shape of breasts under a shirt, then don’t act like the shape of a vagina would be inappropriate.
And besides, there are no terms for the male genitalia when men wear speedos or tight cycling shorts, are there?
The appearance of the female Vagina was never as important as it is today. The surgical ‘beautification’ of the female genitalia, the so-called Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery (FGCS), is one of the latest and increasingly popular procedures. The NHS states that the number of surgical labia reductions has almost doubled in the past five years, the majority of which were performed for purely aesthetic reasons. Labia reductions (or Labiaplasty) are the cosmetic surgery with the third-highest growth rate. The reason for this trend is seen as an increasing portrayal of female genitalia in magazines, movies and the internet.
The result is a beauty ideal of youthfulness: the genital should look like that of a young girl resembling that of a Barbie. Inner labia are not visible and there is a small line in the middle of the crotch.
Lifestyle magazines use Photoshop to remove or reduce the inner labia or photograph the models in a way that the inner labia are not visible. Already in 2004, women reported their satisfaction with their genitals in the International Vaginal Dialogue Survey. In this survey, 61 per cent had concerns about the appearance of their vagina and 47 per cent about the size of their vagina. Almost half of the respondents saw the vagina as the part of the body they would know the least about, with the majority seeing social taboos as a reason for their lack of knowledge.
Speechless? Yes, me too. Let me sort my thoughts here.
There are women in Africa who are circumcised against their will. To control their sexuality, to control them. And in the Western world, women are sold an image of a vagina that does not exist.
Which can only be bought through surgery.
Sounds like control to me…
The unnatural appearance of a vagina is understood as beautiful, whereas the natural appearance is seen as ugly.
A vagina that resembles young girls is the new go-to.
Sounds like paedophilia to me…
In a time where the internet, where YouPorn, is taking over the sexual education of our children, they are watching sex that does not happen like real sex with genitals that do not look like real genitals.
Sounds like the absolute wrong way to me…
We are on an eternal quest for perfection.
But some things are not meant to be perfected.
They are good the way they are.
And honestly, genitals are not there to look beautiful, they have another job. They are way too important just to play the role of arm candy.
Yes, we don’t look like women in porn.
But the good thing is, men don’t look like men in porn either.
And I’ve never heard of a man who has had his penis straightened just because it’s crooked. So don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong just because you look the way you do. It’s time for a little more reality.
After all, we are not Barbies.
While I was writing this piece, I came across a description of the inner labia that I would like to share with you.
There, they were described as a little butterfly and as the wings of an angel.
So why should we let anyone cut off our wings?
Instead, we should fly with them.
