Sex Sells: Valentine’s Day
A 24-hour romantic death match?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading writing this article. How am I supposed to talk about “sex” without sounding like an overbearing prude, or a complete free-love sex addict? Then I checked today’s date. February 14th. Valentine’s Day. If ever there was a more opportune moment to write about sex, and love, selling, it’s today.
Now let’s not get off on the wrong foot. I’m not anti-Valentine’s Day at all. In fact, I rather enjoy it. I think it’s nice that for one day a year, people come together to celebrate love. Even on her lesser known sister holiday, the 13th of February or Galentine’s Day, people come together to celebrate friendship. Obviously, today, in particular, is more focused on couples; prospective and promising, new and old.
I’m currently happy in a long-term, long-distance relationship. Being long-distance has its own particular set of challenges; possibly too many to be listed here. Despite us being apart on Valentine’s Day, we still felt pressure to do something. To buy the other flowers, a card, chocolates. We’ve completely bought into the idea of Valentine’s Day as having to go all out for your significant other; distance is no excuse for forgetting such an *important* day as today.
There are legitimate industries and monetary value attributed to sex. Excluding things like porn and actual sex workers, every Valentine’s related product is supposed to make your 14th of February outstanding. Every soppy card, every bunch of flowers. Every 2 for 1 meal deal with a bottle of prosecco, every set of skimpy lingerie. Every penny you spend brings you closer to having the object of your affections overwhelmed by desire for you. If your significant other isn’t taking the hint, bring them to see Fifty Shades Darker.
I think this year is the first year I’ve been able to look anyway critically on Valentine’s Day. Growing up, every year I completely lamented not having a boyfriend to buy me a teddy bear and chocolates. My parents wouldn’t even partake in sending me a card from an imagined “secret admirer”. As a result, I spent a large part of my teenage years feeling undesirable.
This is, I feel what sex and romance and love, that promiscuous trinity, really sells. An ideal. Buy our products to be desirable; any man or woman you attempt to seduce with /our/ products will be powerless to resist. Being alone on Valentine’s day isn’t as profitable for big bosses, except perhaps Ben and Jerry. This is why we are constantly force fed the idea that to be alone on Valentine’s Day is something abnormal. Our self-worth is up for debate if we have no one to spoil or no one to spoil us.
I spent all of my teenage years sans Valentine. Even though it’s one day a year, I do think my self-confidence got a series of knocks as a result. It’s hard enough being a teenage girl, being bombarded with images of Amazonian Victoria’s Secret models and knowing that you’ll never look like that, to seeing people your age getting spoiled rotten. I always felt there’s a sense of competition about Valentine’s Day. Especially with social media, the need to go above and beyond only increases. Scrolling through my Instagram feed this morning, I was bombarded by selfies and collages of happy couples. All the captions read like love letters, but the number of Valentine’s Days spent together was the most prominent. Three years, five years, seven years. What is supposed to be a day celebrating love, has merely become a race to see who’s relationship appears to be happiest.
Sex sells. That’s hardly a revelation. Our society, from what we buy and wear, to what we send and share, is driven by wanting to be desirable. Valentine’s Day epitomises this. And it’s so easy to become cynical about the whole thing. Stripping back the layers of corporate greed and out and out competition, it is ultimately a day to celebrate the one you love in your own particular way. And if your own way to celebrate a special person in your life is to shower them with gifts and plaster your relationship over social media, then go right ahead. Relationships are something to be cherished, and Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder to reflect on the good things and people we have in our lives.
So whether you’re planning a romantic spectacle, or you’re spending your evening listening to Amy Winehouse like I am, enjoy today. Valentine’s Day is a day to cherish. I wouldn’t swear off it yet.
