Social Media is for Idiots, But Fiverr is for Weirdos.
I don’t hide the fact that I rather love social media. Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, Youtube, Twitter etc… they all currently sit on my phone and provide me with endless hours of procrastination and cat videos.
Last week though, my housemate opened my eyes and introduced me to a social media website known as Fiverr. Put simply, anyone can make an account and offer “services” for a minimum of five dollars (That’s £3.98 to us British folks). Now these “services” encompass a great deal of things. To be honest, a lot of what is on there is rather professional. Need a new logo for your website? Pay someone five dollars and they will design one for you. Need a voice over for a film project you are working on, or need help making an app for your website? Lots of people on Fiverr are more than happy to help.
It all seems so innocent on the surface. But looks can be deceiving. Hidden beneath Fiverr’s surface lies a treasure trove of the most bizarre things I have seen in a long time. If your eyes glaze rightwards across the homepage, past the categories of ‘Writing and Translation’, and even further than ‘Programming and Tech’, you will find the last category on Fiverr. ‘Fun and Lifestyle’.
Any sense of seriousness here is immediately thrown out of the window. Here you will find all manner of the most bizarre people on earth ready to take your hard-earned cash for things you never knew you wanted until now. At the time of writing, the most demanded service in this category is Jesus. Or more accurately, a guy dressed as Jesus that will say anything you want. As you scroll, you will begin to see there are many variations of these viral ‘tell me what to say’ types. A biker, a guy in a unicorn mask, hot women dressed in leather. You know, what you would expect.
Wait. A hot woman dressed in leather? Yes I’m not kidding. In fact, many of the pages are filled with attractive girls who will happily take your money to say whatever you want them to say. Granted, the ones they promote on their own page are PG; usually used to poke fun at a friend or to advertise something. But you only have to scroll to the reviews and see that many people who purchase the service are men far far older than the women in question. Part of me has a little red flag at the ready saying ‘this is not OK’, but my other flag has the ‘XD’ emoji on it, because that part of me thinks it is hilarious that women get these types of requests, and fulfil them for money. Life is a lot easier when you are attractive I suppose.
I would like to say it stops there, but the deeper down the rabbit hole you go, the stranger it gets. Soon you will find the balloon people. These people will take your money, blow up and then pop balloons in any way you desire. Confused, I googled balloon popping and discovered it is in fact a fetish. Fact of the day: people who have a fetish for balloon popping are apparently known as ‘looners’. After watching a few videos, I have to say it’s not for me, but different strokes for different folks I guess.
Deeper and deeper you go, until you then delve into the really desperate people looking to make some cash. They say a picture can tell a thousand words, so I will let some do the talking here.
It is all utterly ridiculous. Ridiculous, yet hilarious as it shows just how strange, and somewhat desperate, we as people can be when the opportunity to earn a little money on the side is there. A lot of social media is full of idiots. Fiverr still has idiots, but it also has weirdos. Beautiful, glorious weirdos that showcase just how weird the human race can really be.
And to finish up, this article wouldn’t be complete without an actual Fiverr video, would it? So here is Road Rash from Fiverr thanking you for reading.
With thanks to Naomi Gilad (who found this hilarious)
