Social Media is for Idiots
We have become a generation that is dependent upon instant messenger conversations, Facebook profiles, Twitter updates and ‘cute Instagram filters.’ The amount of friends and followers we obtain is displayed like a badge of honor in competition with everyone else around us. The stereotypes on social media websites have been inevitably formed into categories that everyone falls into somehow. I’ve created a few that I find quite amusing and often see throughout my own social media accounts that I’ve decided to note down.
The Oversharer
This person posts about everything and anything going on in their lives. Whether it is insignificant tidbits of their daily lives or what cool new trick their dog has learnt, they have the need to update all their social media accounts with it. They are constantly sharing ‘cute’ posts or re-tweeting ‘funny’ tweets from celebrities. You probably know more about their life than you wanted to. Whenever you see them in casual passing, you feel the urge to stop them and ask them how their step-aunt’s cat’s surgery went. The way that I have solved this type of social media persona is through the beautiful Facebook ‘unfollow’ feature. On one hand you keep the status of being friends and on the other you get the blissful peace of a clean news-feed.
The Ghost
On a completely different extreme from ‘The Oversharer,’ there is the person that makes you wonder why they even bother having social media accounts in the first place. The last time they posted was in 2007, and it was to notify that they weren’t going to be online for a couple of weeks. They rarely change their profile picture, and if you send them a private message, they take multiple hours to a couple of days to respond. It would be quicker to text them. You ask them what they think about the new updates and they don’t even notice something has changed. Getting a like from them is like receiving a compliment of the highest degree.
The ‘Goals’ Couple
These are the friends in a relationship that should consider opening joint social media accounts. Everything they post refers to their significant other and how ‘extremely happy and grateful they are for each other.’ If you don’t want to miss their three weeks and two days anniversary, you won’t, they’ll remind you of it. If you ever feel depressed about the empty realization that you are horrifically single, you can always drop by their pages to feel even worse. The glorification of their ‘perfect’ relationship will be displayed through selfies and ‘relatable’ quotes. Unfortunately it means when they come to their inevitable end, if you have invested time into following the progression of their relationship, you may be left with the sad unknowing of what happened when all their posts together mysteriously disappear.
The Wannabe-Model
This person glorifies their life by posting countless photos of themselves involving luxurious designer items and lavish vacations. Of course they fail to mention that the designer items belong to their parents and the vacation pictures were actually taken months ago on the same vacation. They use social media to paint the life they wish they were having, creating envy and jealousy as they go. This, in turn, makes other people have an idealistic idea of what their life is like and think they are nothing but bubbly and happy when in reality the person in question is sitting in bed with some fried chicken and their hair in a top knot.
The Existentialist
Whether it’s posting long ‘meaningful’ and ‘motivational’ quotes about life, or writing paragraphs of opinionated drawl about our purpose here, the Existentialist makes their position very clear throughout all their social media accounts. All the comments they leave on other people’s post begin lengthy discussions and debates about everything and anything from what true happiness is to whether or not social media is destroying our society slowly.
All of the stereotypes that I mentioned above are extreme versions of the ones that we actually face through social media websites. Social media has become a place where we have the ability to reinvent the image of ourselves and our lives towards other people. If we are attempting to impress exes or potential crushes, the obvious thing to do is to post a flattering selfie with some sort of inspiring quote to gain their attention. When we want to gain some sort of social reaction we post provoking statuses or tweets in hopes of getting comments, re-tweets and likes. The need to notify everyone around us about what goes on in our own personal lives grows stronger as social media becomes a more prominent part of our lives. It’s easy and accessible and tempting to use to the point where it’s developed into a mask.
With thanks to Mat Lopatinsky
