This is me
It was the midday of a Saturday and I continued walking through that street in Madrid made with murderous cobblestones that had declared the 3rd World War to my feet that day, I had the fault too for wearing those black high-heeled shoes and whose red sole seemed to be made with the blood of my tiny feet. Although it seemed a good idea to go back home and to get rid of those shoes, the fact of walking through that magical street full of the midday light and those bright colours that appealed to people to buy those shamelessly expensive things, made it worth it.
After seeing lots of store windows, every seemed the same but each one with its own charm. And then I remembered when I used to come with my mother back then, she always used to tell me that here no one can’t be sad and that a person called Amancio Ortega (owner of Inditex) could help me with my problems anytime I wanted to; thus since then everytime I had a blue day, I came, and I bought a blouse, shoes or what my salary allowed me in that moment, and agreeing with my mother, the problems seemeed to disappear, at least for awhile, until the endorfines and the adrenalin of buying without looking the price faded. I continued walking with no particular destination and having my head in the clouds, as always, when I saw something that called my attention, finally the shop my friend Lola and I were waiting for, had opened. And there it was ‘La Perla’, with its store windows with that faint but bright light that fell intothe lingerie that fineness rest in those cotton mannequins that had and impossible waistline and that called your attention to enter knowing what to expect from the inside.
And then I did, I ventured into the lion’s den but full of glitter. That shop was totally my downfall, knowing how much I love fashion and lingerie, and more, knowing the exorbitant and exaggerated prices, definitely my credit card won’t be fine after that. I saw so many lingerie outfits… white ones, black ones, maroon ones, pink ones, with different shapes like lace bustiers, balconette bras with little rock son the bra underwire, lace bralettes, strapless, or maybe just without underwires… etc. It could be said that I went crazy for a moment, but even with the risk of go into shock, I relaxed and walked towards a lingerie outfit made with pearl white lace, it was a push-up bustier in combination with a thong of the same colour that more of a dream for us girls to have it, it was a dream to see it for the lucky boyfriend of the owner, and there it went, the time we are all scared of, looking at the price… who said that talking to your crush was scary, didn’t feel the stress of looking at the price of something from that shop. And there I was, looking at that tag with my eyes almost out of their orbit and with the attentive and discriminatory gaze of the shop assistants fixed on me and my neck that could be seen through my ponytail. I thought in the day we were, and in the day I would receive my salary, and right there without thinking twice, I decided to please myself and buy that scandalous expensive lingerie, or better said, I decided that that night my partner would stop to have that bitter face from some days before, and thus I came out of that shop, full of endorfines and adrenalin, that in a few days would disappear with the receipt in my bank.
At the end of this lines, I found out who I am, I found out what encourages me, what I really like, what I want to be when I grow older. I am a girl that dreams with the day of having a chance to work in the fashion industry and writing about it and I found out that my mother is one of the main pillars of my life.
Originally published at medium.com on January 20, 2017.
