What I wish I`d known before becoming a woman..
Okay, okay, okay…
I know that people generally consider you a WOMAN when you give birth to a child or if you are, let`s say, quite adult to be called a girl or a lady. It does not refer to me yet.. but my `becoming a woman` was happening despite of these criteria. It was not my choice really to become a woman at that time. But the choice of society. The society I happened to be. The world I happened to live in. The moment my father`s sperm connected to my mum`s ovule and the moment my sex was decided — I am a girl. Just a girl in the morning with my mum making me breakfast. Young lady for the teacher in the classroom. And woman.. completing university questionnaire on how good my accommodation was. But.. is my story about kids, age or social status? No. If you are man and reading this, don`t worry. Just read and enjoy it, I pray you enjoy. But let me talk to women. Are you, YES, YOU.. are you able to fulfill the criteria society has set for you? Let`s see.
The first time I ever thought of me being a woman, but not a girl… was a very simple situation. I was doing some random stuff with my hair, wearing trousers and a t-shirt was it… don`t remember. But the whole focus is in trousers. Trust me. So my boyfriend was sitting somewhere next to me and watching me. Once I stood up and walked around, he said ` You know, now that I look at you, you’ve put on a little bit, I noticed it because you’re wearing trousers`. Wow. If it is only me, then I am sorry. Just forget this article and do something you really like instead of reading this. Also some I-eat-what-I-want-and-so-what girls who like never put on weight, please let me stop you there. The food you eat probably goes to the space, but not into your stomach. But ladies, I am pretty sure some of you know what I mean. How does it feel? When your boyfriend, friend, dad, husband whoever eats A LOT and you just sit there, studying the menu for some tasty dietary salad in order not to gain weight.
Because it is not that significant for him. And crucial for you. Because society expects woma,n to be pretty and sweet. Because If woman wants to achieve something, woman has to look good they say. Woman has to be slim they say. And please, don`t give me examples of Adele or Nikki Blonsky who are happy in their weight and everybody loves them. These are rather exceptions who happened to be in a right place at a right time. And it does not apply to majority. I know that. And you know that too.
But actually. If men can, why women cannot? Why not to eat everything and let people love you the way you are? Because it works with men doesn`t it? When I would ask my father to read me some fairy tales, he would try his best: imaginary worlds with alternative reality, talking animals, amazing descriptions of nature, people`s characters… anything BUT one thing would stay the same. There was a girl. And the girl was young and beautiful. And there was a boy. And he defended a girl and ensured she had everything she needed.
The reality is: men do not have to look good to achieve something in life. They will be evaluated according to a different criteria. And in that case maybe it should work? Women are provided with everything, just look after yourself and be beautiful. Men — look as you want — but be able to provide everything for your women. Well, it might work. Maybe. In alternative reality of my father`s fairy tales. But not in our reality. Unfortunately or fortunately, who knows, but time tends to change all the time. Nowadays women are just as responsible as men for the family well-being, they should contribute to the family income and so it is expected now that women should work, have education and all the rest from the `standard list` — which is, more or less, everything only men were expected to do. And now, back to my trousers — and my boyfriend, who is not the most beautiful and slim guy in the world — well, tell me we have the same criteria in the eyes of society? You might say yes, even society itself might say yes. But on top of everything else mentioned before, I have to look after myself. Constantly. All the time. I might not, but trust me, you do not want to know what sort of difficulties women, who do not look after themselves, might have, living in our society.
Being slim or not is one thing — being young is another thing. You have probably heard, at least once in your life, something like this. Men are always men, and the older he is the better he gets— just like cognac. And women — are just like raisins, when grapes are loosing their shape, taste.. Look at it this way: Do you know many people who hate grapes? …and raisin? Yeaaaah… pretty much about it.
I have a part-time job. You know, the majority of students have: you just work and wait until you get your degree and fly away as a bullet (if you know what I mean). So when we are free and there are no customers— we talk about different stuff: relationships, university, holidays… Of course boys would bring up a topic of sex. Of course. Here comes your choice, woman — because you cannot NOT take part in discussion — you are open, independent, grown up — no reason to feel uncomfortable talking about sex (even with these dudes). Let`s face it. And you face it… with the most interesting part coming. You turn to say something. Okay, go on — but remember couple of things. If you say you had more than 2 partners, you are whore. If you had just one man, you are boring and that`s it. Oh and be prepared for the phrase: “poor you, one man.. are you going to marry him and till the death will do us apart..”(laugh at the background). Well, in case you are virgin OMG, it is just no comments: `please come back when you will be mature enough`.
But if you are not mature enough, but still are trying to have `some fun`, I prepared some more options for you.
Go on and get drunk if you want — but remember you will be a mother in future so you have to care about your life and honour.
Go on and laugh as crazy as you want — but remember, that mimic wrinkles are pretty on men not on women.
Go on and write in your CV that you are a young woman — but they won`t take you as lack of experience is not welcomed. Maybe try to write that you are an adult woman — oh no, but then you probably have kids to look after— and you know, my reader, kids tend to be ill quite often, and mum needs to take care of them, and work suffers from her lack of attention and.. nah, not a good employee to be quite honest.
Maybe you think I am very strict? That men have hard lives too? I am not a man and so will leave it to the other boys to write their articles about men being discriminated by women or so — but just a brief advice from your author: Girls, glass of water before your breakfast, 30 minutes gymnastics every day, introduce primer and concealer to your skin (let this foundation stay a bit longer on your face, finally) and trust me, sports are an unavoidable thing for your body, but sometimes skirts and dresses might work better than trousers beentheredonethat#
And voila, maybe somebody you were looking for the whole life will tell you one day:
-`And you are a clear example of it.`
Being woman is hard. But only strong women run this world. I just wish I`d known that before it came to the point.. I had to actually become a woman.
