What I wish I knew before I moved to England
After living in England for two years I have made some observations that I wish I was aware of before I moved here. But what a journey it has been.
I thought I understood the British people, but it takes some time to really understand them. People from England are known for being polite. Get used to thanking people for absolutely nothing. I have even thanked someone, because I opened the door for them. Say “thank you”, “please”, and “I’m fine” even though life truly sucks. Most times they do not want to know how you are, even though they asked.
Sometimes they are polite without meaning it. Do not let them fool you. They tend to use sarcasm in most situations. You will not know if the person you talk to actually likes you or despises you. Snarky rude comments can simply be justified as “banter”. This is a very useful tool to get out frustration without facing any consequences.
Brits are perceived as posh, but surprisingly there are more “chavs” than posh people. They can be spotted with big puffy jackets, Adidas or Nike track suits and their BMX bikes, commonly in groups. They are obnoxiously loud. It seems that gingers are the most persecuted minority of the country. They go through a lot of pain, according to themselves. Brits also swear a lot, but never in front of their parents. The parents know little to nothing about their children’s lives.
I have learned that the weather is actually bad. They were not exaggerating. I must applaud that they keep their hopes up through the bad weather. There is a North-South divide. Apparently everyone from the South is from London, when they are actually not. The northerners are irrelevant according to the southerners. No one wants to admit that they are from Essex, perhaps because of “The Only Way is Essex”. Wonderful show.
They are self-deprecating people, but you learn to live with them. However, not when it comes to football. Therefore never, I repeat never insult the Premier League. It is “the best league in the world”, even though their teams rarely win the Champions League. How odd! Apparently it is because they have tougher games and are unlucky, and no winter break. From my observations most Manchester United supporters are in fact from the South of London or Asia, not Manchester. Most Chelsea fans I have met do not support Chelsea, they just enjoy having a team and chatting “shit” about other London teams. Pardon the language.
British people tend to live in the past, when they were “the greatest”. They still live for that time they won the World Cup in 1966. It seems to have been all down hill from there, but they still think they will win the world cup every time, until they reach the penalty shootouts against the Germans — then it is over before the first shot. I have to quote Coldplay’s songs “Viva la Vida” and “Fix You” for this situation; “we used to rule the world” and “When you try your best but you don’t succeed”.
Their food is nothing to brag about, but do not say it out loud. Their only half-valid argument is fish and chips. Not to ruin anything, but it was a Jewish immigrant from Israel who brought the dish. They love a good roast dinner, even though it is as dry as the Sahara dessert. Gravy helps. They love a good meal deal, and they eat crisps for lunch. Somehow they are not mortally obese. A life hack is that you can get a £2,70 smoothie in a £3 meal deal, which includes a sandwich and a snack! When this is accomplished it is a glorious feeling for the Brits. But not as good as finding a cheap pint.
The Brits. They are great, in their own unique way. Despite all the strange things they do, this country has become my home. Brits make excellent friends, and even though the majority voted for “Brexit” they do not actually want you to leave. Just watch “Little Britain” for further explanations.
With thanks to @Tracy Enright & Silvia Haubert
