What I wish I’d known before…
“I wish I had known before…” is a very common and famous sentence that many people use. Some of us use it almost in our daily life, without being aware of it, when we have already taken the wrong decision, that not only makes us to bear the burden of having been committed this error, but also the burden of the guilt of “if I had known before…”. A heavy double charge… as if it was not enough the fact of screwing up.
Probably, we have listened more than once to someone saying how they wished they could come back and start again, in order to change something they did –or did not- in the past. Me, myself, have had this thought more than once in my life. In the past, I said too much stupid things in the worst moment; or I made the wrong decisions not only personally but also professionally; or I was also irresponsible in some things I did… Some of those wrong decisions still have an effect on me nowadays. Others were losing importance over the years, while I was psyching myself and learning to live without hurting me or affecting me emotionally. I am aware of the wrong decisions I have taken in the past. Many of them are wrong decisions that guided me to some negative consequences, for me and for those who surround me, people that I love. So, I am not proud of my errors, by a long shot. I would have liked not to have made these mistakes. But since there is not a way to turn back, I accept them. In fact, if there was a way to turn back in order to change things, it would be a mess. Imagine the situation: the decisions we’ve taken not only affect ourselves, thus, what I would like to change because it has negative repercussions for me, probably for another person has positive ones –the fact that I’ve taken this decision and not another one. For instance, imagine that you and three other people want to go on an Erasmus program, and you have two options, England or Germany; you have to distribute yourselves by twos; surprisingly, the four of you come to an agreement and Isa and you choose England, while Elena and Sarah choose Germany. Once there, you think you have chosen the wrong decision, while the other three people are great and comfortable with the decision they have taken. You think you were wrong because it is not what you expected it would be: and you think, “I wish I had known it before I chose England”. If someone gives you the chance to go back and change what you’ve chosen, you would probably be prejudicial for the others. And what’s more, how do you know it would not happen the same in Germany? What’s done is done. Each mistake gives us a lesson. I have learnt as much from my errors as from my correct choices. The errors teach me about these things and they also help us to be the person we want to.
We set out on a journey, once we have taken a difficult decision; and that is when things begin to turn up, those things we did not count on. “I should have guessed it…” or “I should have noticed before…”. We add guilt to failure, as if there was not enough with one of those. As I said at the beginning, we have already had enough with accepting the consequences and rectifying them. It is true that if I had known it before, the outcome of the story would have been another one. A different one, not necessarily better… just different. However, it is better to know it now than have never learned of it. Even from the biggest mistakes we can extract important life lessons. Everything happens for a reason. I think everything is already written, so that, if something should happen, it will happen. I believe in fate, destiny exists.
With thanks to Lauren Wylie
With thanks to Elena Iodice
