Why am I single
Why am I the only person in my friend group who’s single? Am I too picky? Why can’t I meet someone? Are single people single for a reason?
…am I not worthy of being loved?
Painful questions come to mind when thinking about your own dating status. It doesn’t help to have strangers, co-workers, family and friends remind you of this with questions of their own: Have you been seeing anyone? What happened to the one you went out with last month? When are you giving me grandchildren? You’re such a great guy, how are you still single? When was the last time you went out on a date?
So, why am I still single?
We live in a society that revolves around these concepts or rather, myths. These ideas float around and are present in our daily lives but remain distant and unreachable. Myths of sex, gender, beauty, and yes, even the myth of love exists. Unrealistic expectations for romantic love are broadcast on every possible media platform. Every movie and TV show are bound to have their own narratives about romance and love. Magazines highlight perfect couples and tips on how to achieve perfect love and life. No matter what title or medium it comes through, ultimately, we are told this is love. This is the way you can achieve it; this is the only acceptable form of love, and if you are not in a romantic relationship by the time so and so happens… Well, you’re broken. On many levels, we’ve accepted these unrealistic and twisted expectations.
So, have you tried Tinder?
The answer to that is… Of course I have, who hasn’t? However, I’m done trying to meet someone off Tinder. I kept trying for so long and all I got was trauma to remind me of my many dating fiascos. I felt like a failure for not being able to hold up a basic conversation on the app. Especially, when it requires such little effort in terms of getting to know someone. I suppose that I’m just the sort of person who doesn’t want to tell their future children and grandchildren that they met grandma through an “App”, people mostly used for hooking up. Though there is nothing wrong with it. With dating apps, that is, or hooking up… Anyway, some of my best friends met through it and got married. My brother and his girlfriend of soon 4 years are living together and still going strong. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I’d prefer to do it the old-fashioned way. Meet someone by chance, somewhere special. Perhaps, in an arts class, or maybe in a coffee shop with me spilling coffee on myself or them, or us both. Who knows? As long as someone gets spilled on!
What if…
…I don’t meet someone? How is it possible for a romantic like me to keep on hoping to meet someone, when modern day skepticism, technology and impatience is making it so much harder? If, truly, you’re a romantic like myself, keep on hoping. Keep on believing, but above all. Keep on trying! Don’t seek love desperately, and instead, stay active and open to all possibilities. The old saying, “love comes when you least expect it” might ring true, but it’s not going to happen if you wait for it to come knocking on your front door.
While love is out looking for me, I will be focusing on myself. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I can be a better version of myself. That means focusing on my health, both physical and mental, doing sports, challenging myself daily and trying out new things. I don’t do them to meet someone or to be “worthy of love”, because if I am to meet someone, I will. Also, not every person is lucky enough to fall in love, but if they ever do, they should consider themselves privileged. It is a feeling I have yet to have experienced. That’s what it is, bad luck. Not because you wouldn’t deserve love! I have a mantra worth repeating, a little something I keep telling myself and others, “You are worthy of love.”
And when the time comes, and trust me it will. Brace yourselves, because you will never be prepared for it.
Why am I single? Well, instead of excuses I tell people I haven’t met the one yet. But when I do, I promise to make an equally big fuss about it just the way everyone else has before me. Being single isn’t a curse, but for a romantic like me it can be difficult. I, for one, wouldn’t want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship, I’d want to do it because I’m in love with that person. I have a lot of love to give, but maybe I should try giving that love to myself for a change. I recommend you do the same.
