The Greatest Gift You Can Give
How a difficult feedback changed my life
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A short (true) story first!
I was working in London at the time.
A senior director (let’s call him Mr. H) walked across my desk and wanted to have a chat.
Knowing how busy he was, I knew this had to be something important.
He walked into the meeting room without waiting for me.
I thought, “this must be serious. “ I took my notebook and followed him into the room. I was a bit nervous and forgot my pen. Luckily the meeting room had one.
He didn’t speak for about 30 seconds.
My heartbeat went up. I could see that he wasn’t finding it easy.
He sat slightly uncomfortable. The silence finally broke.
He politely said, “I’ve heard complaints about your personal hygiene. “
I was taken aback. I said, “sorry, what?”.
He explained that some colleagues who sat around my cubicle had complained about my personal hygiene.
The short message was that they could smell me, and it wasn’t pleasant.
I was in a bit of shock but eventually broke out of it. I politely thanked him for the feedback and came out of the meeting room.
I was angry! I was breathing fire!
How can anyone care? And even complain to my boss..do they have nothing else to worry about in life..
This is so unfair..etc., etc
I calmed down after a while and played it back.
It was the worst feedback ever, by country miles. It was a personal attack, or I felt like it.
But it was also the best feedback ever. It revealed to me something I hadn’t even known to think about.
Maybe it was the spicy food or sweat forced out of my body in London Tubes.
I was smelling, and I didn’t know it.
Someone sitting in the next cubicle could smell me. But I couldn’t. That is when I realized my sense of smell wasn’t strong.
