writing sometimes makes me feel like an antagonistic 14-year old
i remember working at a golf course as a caddy when i was 14. I was 1 girl out of about 3 girls out of about 15 boys. We were all idiots. If we weren’t goofing off or losing control of a golf cart in the middle of the fairway while they teed off on the 1st hole, then we were calling white Mike ‘white Mike’ even though he was the only white person. He was the son of the boss, big white Mike. Anyway, he was always doing some goofy s**t too.
There was this boy named Abijah. He was brown, chubby, had little crooked cute teeth and apparently a Biblical Hebrew name that means “my Father is Yah.” Anyway, i don’t remember how it came about, but one day Abijah told me that he didn’t like me. Which, in all honesty, was probably precipitated by me since i was particularly obnoxious as a kid and can distinctly remember a phase during my young adulthood when I went around asking everyone if they liked me. Anyway, i was very shocked. But it was also very shocking because he said it in a very jovial way, like he giggled “no” with his little crooked cute teeth. and I had to giggle too. But what happened was that from that day on, i became very antagonistic to Abijah. I’d jog a little to catch up to him then throw my arm around his neck and say: still don’t like me? And he’d giggle “no” with his little crooked cute teeth. and I’d giggle too. Wtf?
I felt like this the other day. Like an antagonistic 14 year-old continuing to write and press ‘publish’. Hey, how’s it going, Abijah, it’s me again. still don’t like me? Well I’m gonna do it some more. i’ll even feel antagonistic while writing a story about being antagonistic. And i giggled too.