The Ideal Man (Isn’t a Man)
For years, the end to James Cameron’s “Titanic” has baffled and irritated viewers, myself included. Numerous sources have pointed out that Jack and Rose could have both easily fit on the piece of rubble together. Why, then, does Jack sacrifice his own life so needlessly? I wanted a more satisfactory answer than just “for the sake of good storytelling”, because at face value this isn’t good storytelling at all. However, as I dove down the rabbit hole of romance and “the ideal man” in Hollywood, I found not only an answer but a rather disturbing trend in movies in general.
Now, to say that Hollywood doesn’t understand romance and relationships is not controversial in the least. Article after article have been published outlining the objectification and mistreatment of women in movies when it comes to romantic scenarios. And that is certainly true to an extent. That being said, us men don’t get treated too well either. For example, I call to the metaphorical witness stand Disney’s “Snow White”. Being the first fully colorized movie and the beginning of what has become Disney’s massive cultural empire (by which I mean the movie that turned them from an average sized studio to a behemoth), this movie set the standard for how to portray men and women in romantic movies, and it is a standard that, while modified, is still used today. Obviously Snow White isn’t treated fairly, as her value appears to come only from her physical attractiveness, but neither are the men of the movie. Take the seven dwarfs, for instance. They are hard-working, independent, happy men with their own dreams and ambitions. They are satisfied with their social position and their lot in life, but this all changes when Snow White shows up. Suddenly, they all have to drop what they are doing, completely change their lifestyle, and go out of their way to make Snow White happy. Now their sense of self worth is gone; there is only Snow White. Only her wants and desires matter .
This is the “ideal man” according to Hollywood: a man who completely loses his identity and exists only to please and satisfy the woman in his life. Looking to the end of Snow White, Prince Charming doesn’t even show up until the last scene, where he kisses Snow White and gives her a happily ever after. Nobody cares about the Prince, as his only purpose was to help Snow White. He isn’t even a character, he is just a tool for Snow White. The same goes for most mainstream romantic movies, whether they be comedy, drama, or some mixture of the two. In “The Graduate”, the titular college graduate cares only about pleasing the women in his life. He is emasculated by Mrs. Robinson (and in the eyes of the audience) until he stops resisting her advances and agrees to do what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants it. When he disobeys her, he loses the respect of the audience and the other characters, and he only earns it back by giving up everything, moving to Berkely, and interrupting the wedding of his current sweetheart so that he can save her and provide her with happiness. He has no interest in anything outside of the women he loves because the “ideal man” shouldn’t have his own thoughts and wants. Quickly moving through a few more examples to hammer home the point, Forest Gump does practically anything a person could imagine so that he can be with Jenny, a girl who doesn’t really care about him for most of their lives, Edward from the Twilight franchise gives up on centuries of ambition and uses his incredible powers just to fight over an extremely apathetic teenager who he thinks is cute, and even Shakespeare’s Romeo kills himself because without his precious Juliet, his life has no purpose whatsoever (to me this shows how outdated these notions are).
Now Jack’s sacrifice makes a lot more sense. He allows himself to drown because that’s the “romantic” thing to do. To live would have been seen as selfish and unmanly. A “real man” would gladly give up his life if it made his woman happy. It seems that once again, the traditional narrative does not tell the full story. Sure, women are often treated like prizes to be won by men, but as it turns out, it would seem that men are often treated as slaves whose soul purpose is to make their special someone happy, and for whom having any desires outside of serving the women makes them a bad person. So, returning to the original question I sought to answer, yes Jack could have survived. But really, had he actually found a way to survive while still having no motivation or will beyond making Rose feel good, would his life really been one worth living?
