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Lessons I Learned From Two Divorces Under 40
On starting over and finding yourself — twice
As someone who’s collected two ex-husbands by the age of 36, I’ve questioned everything about myself. Each end to a marriage forced me to look at a big, scary mirror and contemplate some cold, hard truths.
Am I terrible at choosing a partner? Am I difficult to live with? Did I miss the red flags these men flew at me while we were dating? Am I supposed to point the finger of blame at them, or myself?
Breaking up a marriage or long-term relationship can eviscerate your insides. It can shatter the fabric of your being in the most confounding way for years. One day you’re soaring, high on the freedom and safety you finally worked up the courage to give to yourself. The next day, you’re breaking down, half-clothed in the shower, sipping a glass of white seasoned with the salty tears of regret.
Two divorces under my belt by age 36 isn’t something to brag about, but it’s become a part of my identity that I wholeheartedly embrace. I know more about who I am, what I need from a partner, and how we should treat the ones we love. Overall, I know more about how to love.
It’s possible to take what you’ve learned from broken relationships and begin to rebuild. Slowly, you’ll accumulate more emotional…
