VULNERABILITY

This Is Why Guys Don’t Share Their Feelings

The double standard of expression on social media

The height of my divorce devastation. Burnt to ashes on the Deschutes River in July 2018. — Photo of Author

You are embarrassing yourself.

I looked at those words in a text and couldn’t believe what I was reading. My ex-girlfriend, Shannon (name changed for privacy), was texting me that my social media post was embarrassing. After five mostly awesome years, it was over.

Although I’m in no way embarrassed by my post, this whole ordeal is a little embarrassing to share because Shannon is 45, and I am 51. It’s like we were reverting to teen drama, but it’s worth examining as food for thought.

Have you ever been told you are embarrassing yourself for expressing heartbreak?

I’m a writer. I process by writing. The many divorce pieces I’ve written helped shape me into the better man I am today. I spent this past Christmas in my old kitchen cooking with my Ex and her partner. How’s that for healing?

It’s not just time that heals wounds; one has to consciously put in the work.

My post was raw and honest — vulnerable. Maybe some would consider it TMI, but I was hurting and needed virtual hugs. I’m sure many can relate to that black hole immediately after…