Why “Staying Married For The Kids” Doesn’t Work
I realized I had to leave for their sake
“Just don’t say anything. Then he won’t get mad,” my 7-year-old pleads with me. I can see fear in those sweet blue eyes, but protectiveness, too. She wants to save me from his anger. The clock on the wall ticks closer to 6pm. He’ll be home any minute.
Dinner isn’t finished yet. He hates it when it’s not waiting for him after work. My daughter leans on the kitchen counter, watching me rush. Watching my shoulders tense with every minute.
“Don’t say anything. Please, mom!”
That’s not how I want this to play out: parental reversal, the child as the mediator. My children as my protectors. I don’t want my daughters seeing silence and submission as a way to avoid a man’s temper. For a few months, my thoughts have swayed towards staying. I should stay with him until the kids leave home so they aren’t damaged by a divorce. It kills me to think about it, but I could wait ten years, for the kid’s sake, and then leave. But, looking at my daughter’s pained expression, waiting for me to promise I’ll be silent, it suddenly clicks. I have no choice. I have to leave.
For the kids’ sake as well as mine.
