No Pressure Persuasion
Birthday celebrations. Do you like them? Maybe you only like other peoples birthdays? Do you hate them all? I seem to go back and forth. I used to think: “what are we really celebrating, making it through another year without dying?”
Somewhere in my mid 30’s my belief transitioned. Now it’s: “why not, we should celebrate life more often.”
We’re celebrating my wife’s birthday today. It’s not a biggie like 30, 40 or 50, so we don’t have anything elaborate planned. Still, I want to do something nice for her. One thing I don’t do anymore is ask what she wants for her birthday. Nor do I ask her to think about what she wants for her birthday. Asking her to think about it is akin to giving her homework. Giving her homework means she’ll feel (at least some) pressure to come up with a good answer.
The idea of asking someone what they want and creating homework and pressure is something I’ve been thinking about more often lately, especially being on the receiving end of a lot of sales calls. Nobody enjoys feeling pressure even though, in these situations, it’s done with good intention.
Yesterday I received an email from some vendor asking me three things in my business I need help with. This vendor had good intentions but now he’s making me think and if I agree to his request, I’m under pressure to come up with answers. I haven’t responded to him yet. I probably won’t at all. If he follows up with me again I’ll ask him to change his approach in a way that avoids giving me homework or putting added pressure on me.
In written communication it’s too easy to blow off requests like how can I help you with your business, what are the three biggest pain points or tell me about the three biggest challenges you’re facing. You’re giving your prospect homework and creating pressure. To get rid of the pressure all they have to do is ignore you. In face to face communication they won’t just walk away but in written communication they will.
This goes back to one of our most basic rules in consumer psychology. People gravitate towards pleasure, move away from pain (pressure is pain) and conserve energy (homework requires energy).
The Alternative To Homework And Pressure
Instead of giving your prospect homework, you do the homework instead. Do your research ahead of time to find out as much as you can. You won’t find out the whole picture but if you get close you can then zero in without adding homework and pressure.
Instead of asking the question, how can I help you in your business, use an if/then sequence or question format. For example:
“If you are struggling with the design of your mobile website reply here and let me know. I’m doing a free webinar for 50 people on Dec 20 that will show you some immediate solutions with minimal or no investment.”
In this example, you are doing the homework for the prospect, reducing the amount of thinking they have to do (conserving energy) and eliminating the pressure of having to think of something. Of course, we can spruce up our message with better verbiage than I used here but you get the point. I’m showing the prospect that my expertise focuses on design of mobile websites. There’s little thinking required on his part. Either he struggles with this or he doesn’t. Either he knows it or he doesn’t. If he’s not aware that he struggles with it I’ll need to target him in some other way. I can ask if he faces any of the symptoms of bad design like poor feedback from users, complaints about the site crashing or shorter visits from mobile devices.
You won’t get everyone to respond but you’ll get a better response from a targeted, specific approach than the vague how can I help you with your business.
If that vendor follows up with me again, I will make this same suggestion and ask him to rephrase his question.
In keeping with my no homework, no pressure mantra, I didn’t ask my wife what she wanted for her birthday. I’m on my way to get her something I know she’ll like. I told her we’ll get a babysitter and go out and celebrate. I’ll pick the place. No homework. No pressure.
