Martin Davis (UK)
Jul 24, 2017 · 3 min read

I thwarted a pick-pocket attempt recently.
Two guys shadowing a old man on the notorious Long Street, Central Cape Town, South Africa.

One was trying to get his hands on the old fellows jacket ,while the other one was there to pass it on to he’s partner in crime

I’m always getting involved in things like like ,and I have the scars to prove it. :)

Ok — Little scars. But still scars!!

A tiny one above my right eye ,was from a old NATIONAL FRONT punch up from back in the day. (!! AGAINST the N.F. to be clear.)

Here’s a great self defense tip . . .

ACT MAD. If someone’s trying to mug you, you can do a passable Michael Cain, even better!

The “You’re a big man, but you’re in bad shape. With me it’s a full time job. Now behave yourself” line. This once worked on a pimp beating up on one of his girls on Kloof St, … still Cape Town. He may have carried on hitting her later, but a superhero can’t be everywhere.

I was waiting for a girlfriend when two muggers approached me.

First mugger ) I want money

Me ) well we all want money

Fm ) I want money off of you

Me ) oh ,I see .well chaps I’d love to help but I have nothing on me

Fm ) give us all you have

Me) I’d love to but all I have is in a a overdraft and of no use to you

2nd mug) stop messing us around

Me ) “Well the thing is chaps. I’m waiting on my friend, right? He’s just doing some sort self defense/martial arts type thing in the building here. I don’t think he should be doing this. He is very violent as it is. If he sees you two hes really going to lose it.

The two muggers just stared at me ,confused and angry.

Just at that moment the doors of the rehearsal hall burst open and the muggers ran away.

I hope my alternative street advice helps you on your way.

I probably would have felt much safer if I had these two bodyguards really, really close too though . . .

Ps. If anyone tells you have nice trainers on Long St. Tell them to fuck off & keep walking.

Otherwise — Peace & Love until my next venture into blogging. Any feedback welcome! I’m new to blogging and would like to know the community.

Martin Davis (U.K.) Comedian

30 years experience in stand up comedy! And now they tell me I have to “blog?” And then “vlog?” What the hell are you talking about.

Martin Davis (UK)

Written by

Experienced British Stand-Up Comedian. Based in Cape Town, South Africa. www.MartinDavis.co.za #MartinDavis

Martin Davis (U.K.) Comedian

30 years experience in stand up comedy! And now they tell me I have to “blog?” And then “vlog?” What the hell are you talking about.

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