Where were you?
A return letter to the one who broke us.
I waited for you that night. You remember the one, don’t you? The night when you called, and told me you were running a little behind schedule? You told me to be ready for you. Both my body and my mind were eager for you. The intimacy we had shared over the weeks before had created an ever-present need for your touch.
I remember how kind those first few times were, how you looked me in the eyes as you moved inch by inch within me. I can still feel every thrust. My clit still aches in anticipation of feeling you grind against it as you bury your cock into my hot, wet, and needy pussy. Even now, it clenches in eager desperation and unfulfilled desire.
I waited until the early hours of the morning, watching the candles flicker, projecting my lone silhouette against the wall, while the wax slowly dripped on the table. An ominous reminder that nothing lasts, not even the light to chase away the darkness. This was a special night for me. I had hoped it would be a special night for us both. I was so excited to tell you my big secret. But you never came.
Earlier in the day you promised that you would be there. You took my face so softly in your hands and brought your lips to my forehead. I was nervous and wringing my hands. But you grabbed them and looked me in the eye and gave me one of your brilliant smiles. I believed you when you said you would be there Ranch. I trusted you because I believed that what we had was special. I knew that I was someone to you. I believed in you. I believed in us.
But you never came, you left me. You turned your back on me, and you turned your back on all those moments we shared. You walked away from us Ranch, from what we could have been.
When you left me, you ripped my heart out and threw it out like it was nothing. You left me, bleeding on the floor with an ache in my chest almost as empty as my heart when I lost the baby. Oh? You didn’t know? Maybe if you had returned my calls, maybe if you had taken those moments to answer those messages. But you didn’t want me, you threw me away like trash, as if I was nothing. I was nothing to the one person who was my everything.
So why now? Why reach out now? Are you looking for forgiveness? Closure? Acceptance? The words in your letter have ripped open an old wound that I thought had long closed. My pain pours onto the pages as I write back to you, and I can’t breathe.
Where did you really go that night? I waited for you for so long, long past the last flickers of the dying candles. I think when their light went out, I died a little as well. With the rising chorus of birds greeting the dawn, I slowly walked home, each step reminding me you never came, you never came, you never came.
Where was the Ranch in your letter when I needed him? Why didn’t you come, was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? Where did you go?
But I forgive you Ranch. I forgive you because I love you. Doesn’t that make me pathetic as well?
Yours Forever.
Rowena
