A Sudden Realization
Is this my life now?
I had a strange thought the other day. It came from months of endless phone calls, screenings, and interviews that lead to nowhere.
I believed that after I had finished college I was finally going to be able to live my life to the fullest and do all the things that I never had the time to like writing fiction, drawing, and other creative projects.
But, I noticed that the free time I had finally obtained was being sucked away by the corporation I was working for. I would come home drained from sitting at a desk for 9 hours. Whenever I did have the energy to write or draw a little bit, it never felt like I had put in enough.
This unsatisfied feeling of not having enough time pushed me to pursue remote opportunities where I didn’t have to waste away in an office pretending that I enjoyed the work I was doing.
After months of phone calls, zoom meetings, and emails I had a strange realization and asked myself is this my life now?
What drove me to ask myself this question was a company where I had to go through two 30 minute interviews that were 1 on 1, another two 30 minute interviews that were 2 on 1, and then they asked me to do another fifth interview.
I was almost speechless when they scheduled the fifth one. Were they screening people for the president of the United States? I felt like it was ridiculous to go through this while the possibility of not getting the job was still very present.
It made me question if this was what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life, trying to sell myself to complete strangers.
It’s such a strange thing, trying to prove to people you don’t know that you’re the best option out of hundreds of other applicants, just to make enough money to provide for yourself and give yourself a life where you can do the things that truly matter.
This is the world we live in but I’m going to keep pushing forward to the day where this is no longer an option.