ProjectXFactor
Published in

ProjectXFactor

Niceness is overrated. Be Kind.

In my practice with startups, I see frequently how people create hell for themselves paved with good intentions. They do not ask for what they need, they do not give crucial feedback and they enable dysfunctions of others by overcompensating for them….all in the name of being nice.

That’s only the surface reality though. Niceness is a tricky trait. Frequently it’s the disguise of our selfish need to be liked. We want to think that we are nice but more than that we want others to think that we are nice. This kind of niceness makes us lose our voice and leads us to become inauthentic.

When we stop speaking up on important issues because we are afraid to hurt/offend others (translation: when we are afraid they won’t like us or be mad at us), it locks us and others to the status quo. It rips off the chance for things to get better.

Be kind instead.

Kindness is about having our hearts in the right place. It’s about wanting the best for others and for ourselves. It has nothing to do with being liked.

Kindness requires that we speak up on crucial matters. It allows us to let people face their reality and grow from them.

Kindness allows us to be authentic and caring at the same time.

Niceness is overrated. Be kind instead.

--

--

--

This collection provides information and perspectives that can help us live better lives.

Recommended from Medium

Aliveness comes from fear and rage.

The Art of Saying No

How To Use Mental Subtraction To Boost Your Positivity

13 Life Lessons I’m Just Now Learning at 46

Reboot 2020

The soul in the academe: a doctoral student’s self-reflection and inner struggles

LETTER TO LEARNING-I’M OPEN.

Reasons You Need To Prevent Being Like “That Guy” In The Gym...

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Banu Hantal

Banu Hantal

Leadership Psychologist // Executive Coach // SuperHumanist

More from Medium

Why Balance is not a Thing

The unconscious economist in US.

Well-being of Self: Three Holistic Approaches to finding Verdure.

Where have you been?