To Make 2020 a Good Year, Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a practice that can change your life for the better
Lyndon Rego
It is now 2020, a brand new year. As the year turned you probably spent some time reflecting on the year that had passed and setting intentions for the year ahead. If you are like most of us, you focused a lot more on the future and on the things that you wanted to improve. Perhaps there are goals like getting more fit, gaining a skill, or spending more time with family. Chances are that you may also have expressed thanks for the good things that happened in 2019 but focused primarily on big accomplishments or events, perhaps a promotion, a new child, a big vacation, or a graduation in the family. Quite likely, most of us skipped past everyday things we have like good health, the love of family, access to food, and a steady job. In balance, we likely tuned much more into what’s missing rather than what already exists.
There is a human tendency to focus on what’s not good. Neuroscientist Rick Hanson explains, “Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” Evolution has primed us to focus on what’s negative to keep us out of harm’s way. Yet, this tendency creates a bias towards unhappiness.
Counting what’s good in our lives can bring us to a greater level of wellbeing, balance, and positivity. By tuning into the good in our lives, we can face what isn’t good with greater poise, optimism, and courage.
A friend of mine who is the CEO of a large corporation was discovered to have two kinds of cancer simultaneously. The doctors indicated that he had a very slim chance of survival even with a difficult course of treatment. It would have been easy for him to fall headlong into a deep pool of negativity. Instead, in the course of treatment, he practiced a technique for gratitude called the Lotus Meditation that he credits for saving his life. I’ll describe this technique later in the article.
While my friend’s story may be a striking example, there is broad evidence that gratitude practices such as the Lotus Meditation enhance health and happiness. Studies show that “grateful individuals experience more positive emotions, are more satisfied with life, and experience fewer negative emotions including depression, anxiety and envy.”
By deliberately noticing the good in our lives, we fill ourselves with more appreciation and optimism. This practice of savoring what’s good makes the good times last longer. While I lived on the beautiful island of Mauritius, it was easy to take the beauty for granted after a while, to have it fade into the background. So, I started a practice of taking pictures on my morning walk of beautiful things I saw. Sometimes this was the sky billowing with clouds or the shimmering water, sometimes flowers or birds (both abundant in variety and color), or even the radiant light. It helped me notice and appreciate things I might have otherwise taken for granted. These pictures that I posted online help me notice, savor, recall, and be grateful for the beauty I had experienced.
While gratitude is a personal experience, it can also be a shared expression. Gratitude expressed has a multiplier effect. Our positivity not only changes our lives but also those of those around us. Studies indicate that gratitude may help employees perform their jobs more effectively, feel more satisfied at work, and act more helpfully and respectfully toward their coworkers.
So, how can you increase your capacity for gratitude? Here are some things to try with yourself, your family, and in your workplace:
Personal
Gratitude Journal: Keep a daily journal and write down the things that went well. On bad days, read the journal to remind yourself of all the good that also has happened.
Close your Day with Gratitude: Each day, before going to sleep, recount all the good things that have happened during the day, including the small things like nice weather and enjoyable time spent with family.
Gratitude Meditation: Practice a gratitude meditation that includes counting off the blessings in your life. Here is how you can do the lotus meditation that I learned from my friend.
Family
Gratitude Jar: Keep a gratitude jar at home and with your family fill it with notes of good things that have happened. If you have young children, this is a good ritual before dinner to help them share and savor the good things that happened that day. It also creates good content for the subsequent dinner conversation. And when times are hard, you can dip into the jar, and revisit the blessings that have also been present.
21 Things: At home, my wife instituted a “21 things you like about yourself” activity (she picked up from Julia Mikk) that we do for 21 days. Each day, after dinner, we journal individually and then read out to our family the things we appreciated ourselves. This public act of self-appreciation also creates space for our value to be appreciated by others. In listening to what my wife or daughter shared, I was reminded of by the many things to love about them.
Work
Positive Feedback: Notice when colleagues, friends, and family do things you appreciate and give them — and yourself — the gift of positive feedback and recognition. Authenticity counts. Rather than a generic and cursory expression of thanks, add detail about what specifically was appreciated and why did it matter.
Gifts: Some of my favorite memories at work were the fun things we did to celebrate each other. At a communications firm that I worked at, we made creative handmade birthday expressions for people who had a birthday in each quarter. These creations — sometimes elaborate and seldom a simple card — required calling out what made someone special. The birthday artifacts were secretly rotated through the office for people to add words and signatures. This made for a widespread celebration of each recipient, as each other person read what had been written and added their personal wishes and appreciations.The mood in the office was never as joyous as those days.
Compliments Count: A bonus is nice as a reward but so too is a personal handwritten note from the boss calling out what you did. While emailed compliments vanished into the archives of my computer, handwritten notes were pinned on my notice board where I saw them often.
Praise Singing: At the African Leadership University, a “praise singing” ceremony was conducted when someone was moving on. These were sometimes funny and often sad, and while they expressed appreciation for the person leaving and all they had done. These ceremonies were a reminder to all that — in our everyday tasks and actions — we were making a mark on our colleagues who that would be remembered.
By working gratitude into our lives, we transform ourselves to become more joyful, positive, and resilient beings. There is a Native American story that emphasizes the power of this practice:
An elder was sitting with his granddaughter around the fire at night. He said: My child, there are two wolves fighting a big battle within you. One wolf is filled with anger, greed, hate, and envy. The other wolf is filled with happiness, joy, kindness, and gratitude. The two wolves, he said to the girl, are fighting a great battle within you to claim you. But grandfather, asked the girl, which one wins? The answer is simple my child, he replied. It is the wolf that you feed.
So, what we feed ourselves is what we become. If we feed ourselves gratitude, we become more positive people, who are happier and healthier. So, give your life a daily dose of gratitude. It could just make 2020 the best year yet.
About the author: Lyndon Rego is the chief catalyst for CoMetta. He previously headed the Center for Entrepreneurial Leadership at the African Leadership University and led innovation at the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL). At CCL, he initiated a global effort that extended leadership development to half-a-million people in 30 countries.
