Don’t be afraid to Speak Up!

If you came across this article thinking that you maybe we’re going to be reading about freedom of speech or the early movement of human rights, I’m sorry to disappoint you, because the subject may lie just as deeply buried within us. The scary feeling of speaking in public has come a long way. This is my short story of how I began this journey, and I hope it will lead you down a path of courage, work, and success.

The journey began with the first step, not motivated by my own choice but by the need of doing so as my professional and personal career progressed. It was the need to learn how to properly speak in public, although I discovered it was more of learning how to communicate, make sense of my ideas and if possible with hard work and dedication being able to motivate and inspire people.

I work as a technologist consultant and lead Digital transformation projects in which we need to appropriately address the needs of our clients and communicate the outcomes and results back to them, in doing so the practice evolved from 12 to 300 talented professionals that I lead in which we focus on delivery, growth and career path for them. These 2 aspects require of communication skills that needed to be mastered in clarity, effectiveness, inspiration as well as aspirational. My intention was never to sound like a motivational speaker nor a very stern and confronting speaker, I am outgoing, I love to laugh and that’s what I wanted to keep in my communication as well. Entertaining fun stories but assertive.

The first question I encountered was, where do I begin? And the answer I gave myself was very simplistic and easy to take, let’s start talking. To my disappointment, making that decision led me into making mistakes; and because of that along came a long friend of mine, frustration.

While being stuck in a rut, the next thing to do was to ask for help and that what I did, seeking out the wealth of knowledge of sharpas, coaches, Jedi masters and even phony salesman with biassed conversations. Here I leave you with some of the things I gathered and hope it lays down a path that you find exciting and interesting to follow.

Don’t speak!

The very first paradigm I had to break was to try not to speak. Really!? Are you sure? And the thing is you need to focus on writing and listening twice as much as you speak. Some of you may be familiar with the saying of “that’s why we have 2 ears and only 1 mouth” and it stands on the belief that the intake of information and putting it out on paper allows you to start working on patience. That is, listen, process and then make the structure of ideas in a conversation that is taking place, one savy communicator does not kidnap the dialogue but the one that makes a flow of rhythm and exchange of ideas in a proper way.

Write!

It is hard, and harder to make it a habit, at first most of the things you write down don’t make much sense, that keeps you on your toes to go back to buy a good pencil and eraser (if you are this old school) and keep editing and editing until you have your ideas straight. With practice, you will build out structure, you’ll be setting up bullet points and it will bring light to the spoken word when needed. Writing is a muscle that you have to work out so that muscle memory engrains and you will breeze by doing it on the fly and answering questions in an interview perhaps.

Find your voice!

In every way: your character, personality and most importantly the sound you make when you speak. You need to be comfortable with what you hear, but first, have you heard yourself. Many of us have the reaction of “I don’t sound like that” or “I hate the sound of my voice”. So get some techniques on how to properly breathe while you talk. Speak with your chest in some cases and most importantly record yourself reading out loud and with intent. Then go back and write an idea, record it on your phone and give yourself feedback on 3 key things when speaking, cadence, rhythm, pitch and intonation. You may think I am talking about music but I am not, nobody likes to hear someone speak 10 km per hour, or someone monotone that makes it boring. Write yourself a story from your childhood and tell it to yourself, and then to a friend and then even to a date. If they ask you for a second date, you may be getting somewhere with your speaking skills.

Takeaways:

• Be patient, it’s a process and a journey, you got to put in the work and grind, to later shine.
• Be curious and keep learning, keep looking for options on improving your skills; nowadays there is a ton of information for free on the interwebs.
• Practice, practice and then practice some more. Being out there exposing yourself to new challenges and opportunities to speak requires you to be prepared, write down your speech and then deliver it, ask for feedback and work on it.
• Embrace being uncomfortable, you will be nervous, you will be uncomfortable, there will not be a point when that disappears, you will only be comfortable with those feelings.
• Be the best beta version of yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others or say I would like to be a speaker like Steve Jobs, find your voice and be the best versión of yourself with your style, charisma or even lack thereof.

References:

https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/

https://www.theminimalists.com/eleven/

https://professional.dce.harvard.edu/blog/10-tips-for-improving-your-public-speaking-skills/