One of the most universally accepted tenets of mainstream feminism is that women don’t need to employ repressive, man-made tools of misogyny like makeup, shaving or cosmetic surgery in order to be beautiful. Obviously, that’s true. Beauty is subjective and all that, and it’s all about self love isn’t it, da’lin? But what happens when you aren’t interested in “self love”? What happens when the love you want is from boys? Or, God forbid — what if your vision of beauty doesn’t conform to what’s “natural?”. Like, what if you wanna be one of them lion-faced folks who lives in a cave.
Remember in that crappy, but nostalgic film from the mid-nineties, when the geeky girl was given the “makeover” — which consisted of taking her hair out of a ponytail, getting some mascara applied & having her glasses thrown away into a dustbin? When people see this scene, most people notice the “artificial” additions to her, like makeup or perfume or self confidence. She’s not being herself — she’s changing herself to please a man! Someone tell Caitlyn Moran. The bit I always notice though, is that they throw away her glasses. She sacrifices her artificial seeing-aides, for a more “natural” experience. And she can’t see for shit. I think she falls down a manhole, or something (I might be misremembering this film).
I see a lot of adverts telling me that women should embrace their natural beauty — but always with the caveat that you should do it while still using whatever product is being advertised. For example, we’re invited to love our body hair — or not love it — it’s up to you, girl! But regardless of whether or not you love your body hair, please still buy our razors while you do or don’t do anything about it. I’m currently undergoing a course of deeply “unnatural” full-body laser hair removal, because the “embracing” of my “natural state” would result in me being othered, and not passing as well in general society.
As a trans woman, it’s no surprise really that mainstream feminism doesn’t appeal to me. We’re constantly encouraged to look more “natural” while at the same time, being judged brutally if we don’t conform to the well established signifiers of “womanhood”. It’s the trans-paradox. Our identities are always circumstantial, and we are often held to a much higher standard as a result.
It’s a hard thing to communicate with cis people sometimes, because the “trans narrative” has been so warped over the years. People think they understand what our wants and goals are, but they’re usually basing their knowledge off of The Crying Game. We don’t all want to be IRA enabling hairdressers. I do, but we don’t ALL want that.
I guess what I mean by this, is that for a lot of women the goal seems to be to achieve comfort with their natural appearance. I totally get that, and it’s an understandable goal. There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that society has pressured women for generations to conform to male beauty standards. But a lot of cis people view the trans experience as contrary to that. They see us engaging in cosmetic surgery, or “hyper-feminisation” and then sometimes there is an accusation levelled at us that we are “performing” regressive stereotypes. The thing though, that I think is important to comprehend, is that often we are just trying to achieve a baseline level of satisfaction with our appearance before we can move onto the mainstream shit. The easiest way I can outline it, is like this:
I used to wear a lot of makeup, because it helped me to pass better in society at a time when I objectively didn’t pass without it. Slowly, over time — the people around me got used to me looking that way — and so did I. But eventually, I started to like my “natural” face more. And I stopped wearing as much makeup.
There’s a major misconception about trans women that we are all super-high fem. Some of us are, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The truth is more nuanced though. I have days, or times, where that is how I feel. But clothes, and makeup, and hair have always been a really miniscule part of who I am.
My goal has always simply been that I want to get to a level of “passing” where I can go out looking like shit, but still be registered by society as a woman. People will say “wow, she looks like shit” but not “is that a man?”.
Another thing I like to remember is, a lot of these “misogynistic tools of male oppression” are no longer entirely that. Women have taken them, and reimagined / reclaimed them for themselves. They are a part of the culture of womanhood. They are important to us. I always find it kind of gross when some mainstream feminists insinuate that women are idiots because they choose to use these things — it’s a similar position to swerf sentiment as it infantilises and contributes towards a discouragement of bodily autonomy.
Life is too short to not live it in a way that makes you happy. Aesthetic is art, and there is no shame in “unnatural” modification. Just because a person looks unusual, and that might take you aback at first, I have always found it extremely easy to adjust. I think we should be celebrating these visual differences, natural or not, and maybe even put a bit more effort into trying to understand where they develop from.
Natural beauty is also great, but it gets celebrated enough at the moment. I’m calling for a duck-lip-filler revolution.
Ultimately, I think natural beauty is a privilege reserved for the cis straights, (not all of them, some of ya’ll ugly) — but it’s simply not much of an option for women like us. I’ll let you know when it is though, alright?
