An Impossible Promise
(Christian Googler Testimony)
What’s this about?
My personal marriage proposal testimony of God’s faithfulness was shared with all Christian Googlers around the globe in the March of 2019 newsletter (Made possible by Michelle Goddard and Grace Chen). Many messaged me about how this testimony encouraged them to walk by faith and not by sight. I pray and hope that you also get encouraged to hold on to God’s promises no matter how long or how impossible it may seem! He is faithful.
An Impossible Promise
by Yat So (AV Specialist, Waymo, Google X MTV)
An Escape
My grandfather was a pastor and an exemplary representative of Christ. I was not. I grew up in church, but after witnessing some hypocritical behavior, I left at the age of 15. It gave me the perfect excuse to “escape” what I felt had been imposed on me growing up.
Prodigal Life
Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32)
For the next 15+ years, I didn’t even step foot in a church. I was far away from God and living in sin. I developed a heavy cigarette and alcohol addiction. I committed adultery and moved in with both my ex-girlfriends. I knew the ways of the world, and I was an expert at blending in.
My First Time Meeting Jesus
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?” — Matthew 18:12
In July 2017, my boss Daniel and my co-worker Esther invited me to church. Naturally, I rejected them. The following week, they both asked me again, and a voice inside of me convinced me that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try.
So I went, and during the service, God softened my heart and broke me down for the first time through the testimony of a visiting pastor, Pastor Tejay. When I repented and came back to God, he instantly delivered me from 15 years of alcohol and cigarettes addiction. This was my first true personal encounter with God and his seemingly impossible miracles.
An Impossible Promise
“Then God said, ‘Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him.’” — Genesis 17:19
When I kept growing closer to God, I started hearing his voice. One day, he spoke to my heart and told me that my co-worker Esther was my wife and that I should help her.
I immediately rebuked that thought. It seemed crazy and impossible in every way. We were complete polar opposites — as if we were from different planets. So I wrestled with God for an entire week.
I didn’t have any peace in my spirit during this time, until at last I accepted what God had spoken to me about Esther. When I finally acknowledged it, God put in me a supernatural desire for Esther. I say supernatural, because while I recognized her as my wife in my spirit, my soul was against it in every way and couldn’t make any sense of it.
In the Wilderness
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5
Then the situation went from impossible to utterly impossible. The startup we were at — that we thought would change the world — failed, I was down to the last month of rent financially, and, most painful of all, Esther rejected me repeatedly for the next year and a half. I did intense research and found many people who thought God told them who their spouse was but were wrong. I was heartbroken and devastated, and I felt cheated and misled by God.
During this time of intense training from God, He completely humbled me down and taught me true obedience, unconditional love, and all the fruits of the spirit. But still, nothing made sense to me. It seemed like the more I obeyed God, the worse things kept getting. For the first time in my life, I was so depressed I actually contemplated suicide.
An Unexpected Confirmation
“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.” — 2 Corinthians 1:20
One year and 4 months after I had received God’s “impossible promise,” both Esther and I were at a service where there was a visiting pastor, Pastor Sun. Through a prophetic prayer, she revealed to Esther that she saw Esther and I together as a couple, and that it was God’s will!
I had had a continual conviction in my heart since praying to God over 1,000 times about this, but this was the very first time I ever got an external confirmation. Inside, I was like, “YES!!!! Thank you Jesus!” I finally had confirmation that I wasn’t crazy, that I did indeed hear from God all this time.
Although Esther’s spirit received the message, her soul still rejected it — just like when I had first gotten this word. It took another 2 months before her heart started opening towards me.
A Clear Vision
In late January this year, I felt a nudge in my heart to propose on Valentine’s Day. But I wasn’t sure if this thought came from God or my own thoughts — so I prayed.
When I was praying in the shower and asking God if this was his leading, he showed me 2 things in a vision. The first was a fortune cookie. The second was a rainbow.
With the fortune cookie, my heart knew right away what God was telling me. During our first date on Christmas, Esther revealed to me that she recently gotten a fortune cookie message that said “say yes,” and she wasn’t sure what that meant! (Esther had a habit of collecting fortune cookie messages.)
The rainbow represented God’s faithfulness to his promises, just like in the story of Noah in the Bible.
With the newfound conviction, I immediately rushed to get things in order for the proposal on February 14th. I ordered customized fortune cookies that said, “Will you marry me?”. I had to do intense research, creatively finding out her ring size, and picking out a ring. I sought confirmation from a pastor, whose house she’d been living in for 8 years, who was like a father to her. I looked for a suitable location and contacted a photographer to take surprise shots. Most importantly, I had to make sure she was available that day, since her schedule is insanely busy.
There were impossible blockages at every single turn, and it seemed at many points that it was never going to work out. Every step was completely done out of faith. But somehow, God is always faithful and came through for me.
The Promised Land
“I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.” — Genesis 9:13–17
On the day of the proposal, I invited her for breakfast at the Shoreline Lake cafe. I ordered food first, so that she wouldn’t suspect anything. Then, I gave her the fortune cookie and told her that I had saved it for her, since I knew she liked collecting fortune cookie messages. As she opened it and started reading the message, I got down on one knee, presented the ring, and asked her to marry me.
She hesitated for a few seconds (which felt like an eternity!) and murmured, “so soon?”. My heart sank, I thought I had blown it. But shortly after, she stuck out her hand. I put the ring on her and screamed out “Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus!” Everyone in the cafe was so excited and congratulated us!!
The story didn’t end here. As we were driving later that day, we saw the biggest and most beautiful end-to-end rainbow I had ever seen in my life.
At that moment, I was completely speechless, and tears rolled down my eyes. I realized that this was entirely God’s will, every step of the way, from him speaking the promise to my heart, taking me through the wilderness, all the way to delivering his promise.
There are a thousand details I’ve left out in the interest of keeping this testimony brief. But brothers and sisters, I’m honored to testify that our God is living, our God is loving, and our God is faithful!!
No matter how impossible your situation may seem or how long you’ve been waiting, do not give up! For our God is faithful, he’s teaching us to live by faith, and not by sight. If God did it for a sinner like me, surely he will do it for you!
God bless you all!! :)
