001: Snowflakes, Santa Claus, Christmas lights, bare floors and the world that rotates around your bumbum.
I remember when we first met, Boxing day of 2015. It was silly and stupid like tonight when I planned to watch the game of thrones but here I am writing you a letter you wouldn’t see until after a year, sad-sweet, like the paradox thing we learned in JSS3 Literature-in-English.
I wanted to talk to this girl who I’d stalked for days now and there the messenger icon was, with snowflakes dropping, too much of it and I got cold feet, had my heart in my mouth as I typed.
I remember chatting long into the night with you and waking up early just to text first. It was like primary school all over, the exuberance of it. I remember the first time we spoke over the phone, the Indian temple you used to have lunch at, the youth centre you used to work at and the several back pains you complained about, work, your boss, turning down multinational internship opportunities during your placement year, and this was it. I remember all the long talks, how far you were from home, something about me always wanted to be there physically and help you do all those heavy liftings.
I remember the bare floors, the Christmas lights in my parlour, cold floors and our loud sitting room fan as we spoke every night. was it fun? no, it was an adrenaline rush and I wasn’t exhausted. You’d talk for long without breathing, I’d have to ask you to breathe, sometimes I think you got offended.
All of it warms me up, how I’d put my phone on my chest when you called, all of it was beautiful, your throaty cackle and deep laughter when you asked me to sing you a song and I’d go “you think say the world dey revolve around your bum bum?” by Mr. Eazi.
Your eyes were such a mirror for all the things that matter in this world to me, this is me saying you have big eyes. Every day I waited for that facebook tone or the many times the call tried to connect and made that beeping sound, it wasn’t your network provider, you bet it was mine. We played a lot, a tonne of dry jokes (this was me, still me). I remember the many times I had to correct your English, I still do. It takes forever to load, but this was always my best photo of you.
Remember how you tried to be careful with your words when we spoke for the first time and you found out I stuttered? Today as all of it sinks in my head and I remember how all of this started, it reminds me of the promise I made you that this was my last one, the many times I told you I am not going anywhere, I remember how I always wanted to see your palm because of how white, soft and baby-like they were. You are beautiful, you’ve done nothing but have my heart from the first day, cared for me like yours, selfless, words don’t even describe.
Many mistakes later, a tonne of forgiveness later, weight lost and regained, I know better; that the love doesn’t sustain the promise, it is the promise that sustains the love and now more than ever, I want to lead and love you in the most beautiful way, the one that makes your smile wide and I can feel your heart melt like butter under warm heat. I’d never forget the way you make me feel, priceless.
Here’s to Forever and crossing my fingers that life brings us together again. If not for anything, for Snowflakes, Santa Claus, Christmas lights, bare floors and the world that rotates around your bumbum.
