A letter to Allie and a note to myself.
I found this letter I wrote to my friend Allie the day after YLAI ended. She wasn’t a fellow but I met her during the program. I was trying to explain her how I felt after this experience, but for some reason I never sent it to her. Maybe because it was meant to be shared with you today!
November 12th 2016
Dear Allie,
It’s Saturday 8pm. I’m in the middle of an 8-hour-flight back home. I have tears in my eyes. I feel I need to write what is going through my head after YLAI… and cry (I never do). These are tears of joy and sadness at the same time, as well as gratitude. I feel like I’m divided into many little pieces that now left to many different countries. I may never recover them, but that’s ok. I also feel richer, fuller, stronger. As if I was a puzzle made up of a thousand new colors and shapes. Only a few can understand what I mean. That is why I felt I should write to you.
When you meet so many valuable people with whom your path crosses for just a moment, and there is such a strong and inexplicable connection (that may not happen again), is when you realize that magic really exists. These are the kind of things we may never understand. Things we may never forget. And the ones that make us feel alive. I don’t know if it’s a gene, a personality trait or a mental disorder that we both have, but I want you to know that you’re not the only one who feels this way after every farewell. Cheers to more REAL conversations. Cheers for us to meet again.
Eli.
Ok I sound a bit dramatic, but that is how I felt back then: a messy roller coaster of emotions. Since I still had a couple of flight hours left, I also wrote a note to myself:
I’m coming back from one of the best experiences of my life. I’ve been thinking about how it feels and what I’ve learned, but I’m not quite sure. I don’t have a single answer, it is hard to explain. All I know is I am different now and will never be the same.
I met amazing people. I think most of this experience was about relationships and human interaction. I learned SO MUCH from them. I learned to see things from different perspectives and to do things in new ways. In Portland, I spent 4 weeks with 13 fellows from 12 different nationalities. We became a team: the most heterogeneous yet united tribe striving to survive in an unknown place. We supported each other just like family does. We called the hotel our “home”. We met for the first time a few weeks ago but now it feels like we’ve known each other for years. I have made REAL friends.
Besides this group adventure, there was also an individual experience. Spending time on my own, allowed me to better know myself and identify some things I’d like to improve. For example, I want to be more self-confident and fearless. I want to be more straightforward and direct. Oh, and I forgot how much I enjoy dancing! Note-to-self: Remember to enjoy life’s small details and focus on what really matters.
In conclusion, to me YLAI meant personal growth.
As I mentioned in Allie’s letter, YLAI showed me that magic does exist. Those strange “coincidences”, unique moments and pizza & beer talks, left a mark in me that will forever remain. Every person I met reshaped me into the new self that I am today. Why did this happen to me? Because this is my purpose since then: to improve the lives of others as well as society as a whole.
María Elisa Muñoz
Ecuador
YLAI 2016 alum.
