“The” vs. “A” in your daily life

Let’s start by saying this is my first time ever writing something publicly even though I always enjoyed writing. I don’t know if this will be my first and last post or if this will be the first of many but, who cares? I wanted to share some thoughts with the world and this seems to be a good place for doing it.

Simpsons’ family reunited after a week full of challenges and hard work

One word can make the difference

It’s written in the bible that after the 6th day of creation G’od rested and so do we. So here comes the first question: Does G’od needs to rest?. If the answer is “Yes, after all that hard work of creating an entire universe full of animals, mountains, plants and humans .. he must be a little bit tired”, we’d be rationalizing the existence of G’d and thinking of him in human terms. So what does it mean that “he rested”?.

“He rested” is a metaphor since, as explained earlier, G’d doesn’t “get tired” in the human sense and he doesn’t need to sleep 8 hours and have a powerful breakfast for being up and running the next day. When we go deeply into the meaning of “he rested” and how the bible calls G’d during that week of programming the “Universe v1.exe” MVP we notice that he is called “the Creator” and not “a Creator”. I know you may now be thinking:

— “Well Alan, this is getting a little bit complicated, can you go straight to the point? One word having almost the same meaning can’t be game changer for my life.”

— Continue reading, my young padawan, and you will get the core concept of why one word can be that meaningful.

Let’s stop for a moment and explain the difference between being “the Creator” and “a Creator”: If we call G’d “a Creator” we are saying that his whole purpose is to create; there is no other function in his core other than creating. Instead, by calling him “the Creator”, we are implying that creating is only one of his hats. For 6 days he was in “maker mode” being “the Creator”, but, after getting his job done, he returned to his essence, to his true self, and that is why “he rested”:

Resting is going back to the roots for being what you truly are. Resting is putting in auto-pilot your makers mode to returning to being yourself at least once a week. In shabbos we rest “because G’d rested”, we “rest” to connect again with our deep essence that is also his essence.

What is shabbos and why this matters to you (jew or non jew)?

Shabbat (/ʃəˈbɑːt/; Hebrew: שַׁבָּת‎‎ [ʃa’bat], “rest” or “cessation”) is Judaism’s day of rest and seventh day of the week.

As a startup founder, all week I’m taking care of many little things like being a good mentor, making clients happy, attending meetings with lawyers, paying the bills, making sure the office is running smoothly, recruiting the right people, fire-fighting last minute punches, following companies’ KPIs, etc. So, for 6 days a week, I have the “startup founder hat”; I’m not saying that building a company is comparable to creating an entire world but, since I’m a human being, I do get tired of handling all those responsibilities.

Then I realized that being a startup founder is only one aspect of my daily life. Some of you may be architects, some others may be school teachers and some of you may be professional music players. The important thing to learn, in my humble opinion, is that you are not “a school teacher”, meaning that the only purpose of your existence on this planet is you teaching kids how to do math. I’m not saying that your job and daily routine isn’t important, please don’t misinterpret me. I’m just pointing out that you are much more than a school teacher or an architect and that you deserve to connect with yourself at least 1 day a week.

Shabbat is the perfect excuse and opportunity for disconnecting from how society calls you to connect with your inner self.

Shabbat is your moment for charging up batteries for a new week full of meetings, lawyers, bills to pay and clients to attend.

A shabbat one-liner would be disconnect to connect - that’s the whole explanation.

Shabbat laws for having a good rest

In shabbat there are many prohibitions, some of them are:

• You can’t use electricity: no cellphone, no computer, no Facebook, no Netflix.
• You can’t travel: no driving, no buses, no planes.
• You can’t cook or use fire.
• You can’t write: no pens, no drawing.
• You can’t do exercise.
• You can’t work nor utilize money.
• You can’t play music: no drums, guitars, no piano.

Yeah, I know, you may be thinking:

— “Alan, G’d wanted us to rest and you are telling me that if I live on the 15th floor, I can’t take the elevator? And then, isn’t a Netflix all nighter a good way of resting? Sorry but I don’t get it”.

In shabbos we can’t do many things that are connected to our daily (mundane) life. To rest doesn’t mean ‘not’ to do anything. Resting is proactive. Make something that will reconnect to yourself. G’d had to create ‘rest’ on the seventh day. I’m sure Netflix has nothing to do with the essence of the human being, even though I’m a power user.

Shabbos resting can get you a little bit tired since here ‘to rest’ is not related to sleeping all day long, instead it’s a call for having a hard stop that lets you appreciate yourself and your environment (family, friends, significant others, etc).

How do I practice shabbat in my daily life?

For the record, I’m not an orthodox jew so there are many prohibitions that I haven’t bought into yet. I just wanted to share what worked for me, hoping you can get something positive of it.

This is what I do every Friday evening:

1. I leave the office 5 to 10 minutes before shabbat starting time (I’m lucky I live less than half a mile away from my work).
2. Together with my girlfriend we light up shabbat candles and say the prayers.
3. Once we finish with the candles, I turn off my cellphone. It will continue to be in that same status for the next 25 hours.
4. Sometimes I go to the shul and sometimes I just have quality time with her.
5. Two scenarios here: We have people invited to our Shabbos dinner or we attend someone else’s dinner.
6. If we have people invited to our house, I help my girlfriend with setting up the table, cleaning the living room and those kinds of easy tasks. She has already been cooking, cleaning everything up and preparing everything for the dinner so I just make the final touches. We try to do our best being great hosts!
7. During Saturdays I try to have breakfast with my father, go for a walk with my girlfriend or just wake up late and jump directly to lunch.

Disclaimer: I hold a Computer Science masters degree and I consider myself pretty close to technology; I love technology and I apply it to almost any aspect of my life. Having said this, turning off my phone 1 day per week wasn’t that easy and it’s been a process that’s still under continuous improvement.

Bad news travels fast

One question that many people ask me regarding the cellphone thing is: “And what if something really bad happens?” Moreover, with “really bad” we can refer to many things: as a tech company owner “really bad” can mean that your infrastructure is down, that something went wrong with your best client or that something happened with one of your team members.

The easy way of answering this is by understanding that there are many things that are out of our control with or without your cell-phone available 24/7.

Some of the most well-known billionaire investment bankers in the world do keep shabbat and yes, they stop trading stocks 1 day per week and they don’t seem to care about it nor their bank accounts. Some of the wealthiest landowners in New York City are Orthodox Jews who stop the construction of skyscrapers on Saturdays and those monumental architectural masterpieces don’t seem to devalue because of this; they are fully sold before starting the construction.

So, “really bad” in terms of work, can’t be that bad. You will always find a way to overcome the challenges life puts on your daily job- be confident of it, especially if you are an entrepreneur. I have been keeping shabbat for many Fridays and, lucky me, there never were something terrible that happened to my company because of me having my cellphone off for some hours. Of course it’s a process; you should have great partners, discuss how to handle things during this hours and prepare your company for being “Shabbat friendly”, but it’s something 100% doable.

Then, in a more profound way, “really bad” can also mean that something terrible happened to some of your family members or friends. In this scenario, if it’s something solvable, you will get rid of it as soon as Shabbat ends. If it’s something only faith can fix, then your cellphone won’t be of much help.

Do you know that if you take a plane from Buenos Aires (Argentina) to Moscow (Russia) you will have no phone nor internet access for almost 18 hours? That’s only some hours less than spending whole shabbat without your phone!

Some years ago cellphones didn’t exist and people were able to communicate, build companies, travel and do all the same stuff we do nowadays. Yes, telecommunications is here to solve major challenges that the world has and, used in the right way, is a really powerful tool. But, the thing I want to share with you is that: Being with your family 1 day a week and disconnected from the things you are connected to the rest ~86% of the time can’t be so dangerous (and maybe you enjoy it!).

Not a Jew-only thing

It doesn’t matter if you are a Jew, atheist, Muslim, Buddhist or Christian, you can translate “shabbat” to any of the following:

• family reunion
• quality time with friends
• connection with your transcendent purpose
• meditation
• inner self
• going for a walk with your daughter
• _______________ (write here whatever you really think matters in this life)

The idea is to give it a break for one moment, take a pause and become aware of all the things you are missing because of your “makers hat”. I’m pretty sure each one will find a different word for what we call “shabbat” and that’s perfect!

Final thoughts

Inviting people to have dinner in your house every Friday night is not an easy task (nor is it a smart way of spending your small salary as startup founder). Instead, it’s a way of telling you and the world that there are things that matter more than having a successful growing company out there. Accumulating money, wisdom and power is worthless if you don’t have people to share it with.

I put it this way: I work hard all week not to earn more money but maybe for having the resources needed for having a larger shabbat table next Friday night. Forcing me to stop working one day a week also prevents one of the most common causes of startup failure: founding team burn out.

Shabbos experience is something pretty hard to put down in words but it’s something you should definitely try. It’s free, it won’t harm you and if you can’t hold to it, you have your iPhone there on your nightstand: just swipe right and you will be automatically reconnected with “your world” and “yourself”.

Please remember, your purpose on this planet is much more complex and infinite than the purpose society tells you to have. Being an outstanding software engineer is way simpler that being a good husband, son, brother and friend; shabbat is a weekly reminder of not forgetting what we truly are meant for.

Give yourself the opportunity to reboot and get a fresh start once a week, you won’t regret.

¡Shabbat shalom!

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