Blurry details of our first week alone, together
The week began with all the promise of an adventure, where we as a family would be forced to explore unknown territory and navigate the surprises with grace, humor, and resilience. Like all new experiences, there was the expectation that the week ahead would bring out the best and worst in all of us, and as expected, things got real; real fast.
Good morning, Monday, rolled in with its usual malaise, and I carefully rolled out what I thought was a fair schedule, crafted with care to include a balance of time for academic pursuits, outside games, creative expression, and online time with friends.
The surprises began early when the child I least expected to resist my attempt to maintain order, proceeded to throw a tantrum before his first bite of homemade banana bread. The fuse was lit and the next child joined in the resistance. Luckily the college-age child was exempt from this first round of scheduling or it may have been the end of my chance to calm and coax his younger brothers into accepting a regular routine.
As the days wore on it became clear that we would all need to agree to new terms of existing together, if we were going to manage well, and continue to treat each other with the love and respect we had taken for granted. But did we like each other? As I pondered this question, the anxiety reached a crescendo and I could get no relief, only more questions. What kept us together besides our obligations and activities? Are we each other’s beacon of light, or are we more like anchors, or worse, obstacles in the way of serenity? Do we have anything in common, and are there infinite qualities that we admire about each other, or are we merely tolerant?
Oh, there were moments when I sadly wondered if the long days inside would bring us closer, or tear us apart. One incident in particular sparked a battle of wills between me, the middle child, and his father….about chicken. Of course there would be differences, but nothing prepared me for the violence that three normally functioning human beings, were capable of, about what to cook for dinner! Forget about suggesting a walk with mom for an outside activity, how boring! But the lengths I went to, to make sure that walk happened, may have caused more long-term damage than the actual length of our home confinement.
Enough about the struggle, and I would be remiss if I failed to mention the glimmers of hope that our time together has shined a light on. We have become grateful for our own bedrooms, for the abundance of grocery shopping that their father does, for wifi and savvy technology, for the under-used meditation app, and for the schedule that has provided the semblance of normalcy when much of our lives has become abnormal. May love and health keep us together.
