Hello dear teacher, how have you been? It has been about five days since I have written about my virtual teaching experience. What happened? Why haven’t you been writing in your journal daily? Is everything okay? Actually no, things have not been going so well, and I needed to go to the doctor to get a prescription just in case the blues set in as I settle into a long and gloomy winter. I have been known to become just as gloomy as the weather and with the pandemic adding to the forecast of dark winter days and nights, I took a proactive course and requested a prescription just in case my mood freezes and drops as the temperature drops. I do not want to find myself too down to show up for my kids, at home and at school, so I filled my prescription for the first time in nearly three years. But here is what I discovered, I felt worse when I took the pill, the anxiety ramped up and it was not good.
So I am back on schedule, and will suffer through the ups and downs of my life as I know it now, and will use the other strategies that have worked for years, meditation and movement. I started to doubt the benefits of my daily mindfulness practice as I plummeted into a dark place, wondering if I was doing enough for my students, and worried that my relationship with my sons was disintegrating, and if my personal life would interfere with my ability to do my job well. If anyone understands the torment of anxiety…
