How To Be Vulnerable And Save Your Relationship

Hi. My name is Krystal and I’m in a relationship with a man I’ve waited a long time to find, Israel. Everyone can see the love we have for each other and we can really light up a room! We met at WeWork on South Beach and after just a few months of noticing us together, Dani Horowitz (community manager), asked me to share our love story on WeWork’s Creator and proclaim it from the mountain tops! I have to tell it like it is though, we love the shit out of each other and while we spend most of our time enjoying and appreciating our relationship, we’ve had some nasty fights.

It seems the deeper we go into our relationship, the more painful these fights get. We manage to pull it together and patch things up but the wound easily tears open again. This had me asking lots of questions like...

Why does this keep happening? Did I make the wrong decision? Is it him? Is it me? WTF is going on?

Past advice and common day ego boosting articles swam around in my head. It was the usual, “break up with him before he breaks up with you.” “Don’t answer his calls or texts and he’ll come running back.” “You shouldn’t put up with someone who treats you like that.” Whoa! Just yesterday I was madly in love with this person. Now he’s my enemy?

I guess they came from a good place but that only protected me from being vulnerable, the one thing that would save my relationship. Let’s be clear: pride and entitlement are fast tracks to destruction, not an ode to self worth.

In her book Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown writes,

“Love is uncertain. It’s incredibly risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. Yes, it’s scary and yes, we’re open to being hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved?”

Step 1: Kill your ego!

At the peak of destruction and exhaustion, it seemed we were headed for an inevitable break and I had a choice. I could continue to side with my ego, who kept convincing me I was a strong woman and shouldn’t back down, or kill it and let my naked vulnerability be seen. Unfortunately, today’s society sees vulnerability as not standing up for yourself and being weak. The reality is, it takes actual guts to show your soft underbelly when your emotions are under attack. As tough as it was, I killed my ego.
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