You’re off traveling the world. It might be a weekend trip with the boys, it might be a year of backpacking, it could be anything, really. But if you’re a single guy / girl with a pulse you’re probably thinking it’s going to be an all-you-can-eat buffet of romantic options. You think maybe you’ll meet that new boo in Peru or find your very own Queen of England. You think, “the world is a big place. There are billions of fish in the sea. This should be easy!”
Here’s the thing… it’s not.
If my past has taught me anything it’s that courtship is a grind. You’ve got to battle for every inch, every phone number, every “hey, let’s meet up again.” You need to bring your lunch pail and your hard hat every damn day and prepare yourself for a war of attrition. For nearly 26 years I scrapped and clawed on my home soil with some varying degrees of success.
When you leave home, though, there’s something that happens in your brain that leads you to believe everything is going to be different. That somehow a different time zone, country or continent means a different game.
When I left to travel I thought I was leaving with the entire world at my finger tips. Danes and Poles and Germans and Czechs were all ripe for the picking. There was so much promise. So much hope.
But the more I traveled and the more countries I saw, the more I realized that notion of hope was a bit naive.
Because at the end of the day the game is still the game.
6 Keys to Traveling While Single
That’s not to say it’s all terrible being single on the road. Sure, you see thousands of these “Traveling Couples” on Instagram and probably think that might be nice (maybe an Instagram Husband like I wrote about here). Someone to talk to, someone to eat dinner with, someone to take cute pictures of your butt; but what those couples have in companionship they severely lack in social discomfort.
Do they have the thrill of trying to fumble through an explanation in Spanish of where New Hampshire is after 4–6 gin and tonics? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
While I don’t think I ever quite mastered this foreign approach to traveling while single, there are certain things I picked up along my travels that I’m here to share with you. I wouldn’t necessarily call them tips, but rather observations about my flailing courtships.
Here are the 6 keys to traveling while single.
Fall fast
You see, I’m a guy who falls in love quickly. 7, maybe 8 times a day. I don’t do it on purpose. It just happens that way. That Spanish waitress who brought me my croquettes without as much as speaking a word? Love her. The bar maid who left her hand on mine for an extra second when taking way too much of my money? Yup, we’re meant to be. That woman who smiled at me (or one of the 6 guys standing behind me) at the bar that one time? Pretty sure I just put a ring on her finger. That stripper who… Okay, that’s where I draw the line. Only suckers fall in love with strippers.
When you’re traveling around the world, though, you sort of, kind of have to fall fast. You can’t exactly get to know someone when you’re on the move all the time. So, fall fast, forget fast and try not to date stripper if you can help it.
Embrace the service industry
Plain and simple, service people are not into you. You come across a lot of people in the hospitality business while you’re traveling. Whether it’s a waitress or a tour guide or a bartender or a hotel receptionist, 98% of the time they are just doing their job and are NOT into you. They are there to serve you. But what if it’s that 2%…? Well, you best believe you should keep on swinging.
Exchange information
I’m very bad at this. I mean, very bad at this. When I first started traveling full time I thought that by some miracle of pure coincidence and fate I would just happen to run into the beautiful girl again who I shouted at for 4 minutes while Despacito blared over the loudspeakers for the 600th time without ever exchanging any form of contact information.
Then, of course, there is the fact that your number may change with each local SIM card you acquire, so when I realized fate was just a crock of shit I started giving away my home mailing address (Mom, if you get any love letters from a Croatian girl named Ella can you please just set those aside? Thanks). That’s when I realized it was just much much easier to straight swap Instagram handles (friendly reminder that my DMs are always open). Everybody loves a new follower and you also get to make sure they don’t have crazy exes, spouses or senile mothers who are going to beat you up.
Do not fear the language barrier
Don’t let this stop you. Dutch, German, Spanish, Italian, Danish, Croatian, they might not speak English, but everyone can understand body language. Just throw on a big smile. HUGE smile. More teeth, more teeth, bigger! They’re loving it, they’re loving it, they’ve loving it… anddddd they’re gone.
Give dating apps a shot (but don’t expect much)
These can be highly entertaining and a great way to get a pulse on a new city, but I’ve found them to be wildly unsuccessful. I like to justify my lack of success here as not translating in 2-dimensions. I’m a 3-dimensional guy. You really need to get me in person to see what you’re working with, so I’ve mostly avoided dating apps, but I will say that there isn’t a much better hungover activity on a Sunday afternoon than swiping on Spanish Tinder until your little fingers bleed. This wasn’t for me, but it could be for you.
Let her go
Just as you chase the game from abroad, you watch some of your old flames from home at a distance. They’re getting engaged, they’re getting married, they’re suddenly batting for the other team and you think “If I was there things would be different.” Again, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. You’d still be striking out just as often as you are in your new home.
Because as much as we don’t want to admit it, no matter where we go, no matter what we do, the game remains the same.
You can do it.
It’s not easy traveling while single. Hell, it’s not easy being single, period. But whether you’re in Boston or Eastern Europe or Uzbekistan the thing that should always keep you going is the thrill of the chase. You want what you can’t have, you swing and miss A LOT, but when you do happen land a winner there’s no better feeling in the world.
And that, my friends, is why you should keep playing the game.
If you enjoyed this post, you wanna know what you should do…? You should click on that little clapping hands icon.
AS MANY AS 50 TIMES!
And if you really, really, really liked it, you can check out some more of my incoherent ramblings at https://yoproco.com/. We’re staying busy covering travel by sharing laughs with the world.
