living at home vs living abroad — the pros and cons
I think I’ve mentioned it once or twice before, but a few months ago I moved back to the United States and have been living at home. My childhood home, to be exact. This was after a year plus of gallivanting around the world. For some, this move would have been absolute torture. A cruel return to reality after months of fun and frolic.
Of course, the transition has taken some getting used to. At first, it was a little jarring. There were no more morning swims in Croatia or afternoon siestas in Spain. Instead, it was Taco Tuesdays with my parents and in bed by 10.
That’s not to say that one is better than the other. That living abroad is drastically better than being at home or vice versa. Like anything, they both have their pros and cons. So much so that I felt the need to chalk up the pluses and minuses for living at home versus living internationally.
It was a therapeutic, albeit confusing, exercise that will most certainly not have any negative effects on my mental health…
The Pros
The good, the great, and the downright freakin awesome, baby.
Living Abroad
The Blue Fucking Water — Let’s just get this one out of the way first. I’ve lived by the beach my entire life, but somehow someway when you leave the country the saturation level of the water goes through the roof. Doesn’t matter where you go. If you exit your home country, it gets bluer. It’s sorcery.
FREEDOM — I can honestly say I’ve never felt freer than when I lived abroad. There’s just something about it. Like you’re hovering above your body at all times. Living abroad is like a permanent state of sleeping naked in the summertime with the windows open and the breeze hitting you just right. It’s an indescribable sensation.
Money isn’t real — I was fortunate that the American Dollar was pretty strong wherever I traveled. But don’t put something like a Bulgarian Leva in my hand and try to tell me that it’s real money. It looks like it was designed by a 6-year-old who spent a little too long sniffing his sharpies before coloring. In my mind, with money like that, I was a king who was just shelling out McDonald’s Happy Meal coupons.
More time to do stuff — For some reason time doesn’t operate properly when you live abroad. Somehow all of a sudden you have the time in one day to workout, do yoga, meditate, write, read, go bungee jumping, visit a sweet church, work a full workday, and still have time to grab a drink with a friend and watch 3 episodes of the latest Netflix binger. All while managing to get 8.5 hours of sleep. I’m not sure how it happens, but it’s remarkable.
Others pros of living abroad — Food tastes better just because you mentally convince yourself it tastes better. You’re braver, prettier and more open to risk. Life is simpler.
Living at home
Snacks — I cannot state the importance of this enough. You don’t think you’re going to miss Cheez-Its that much when you leave home. But then all of a sudden you get back to your international apartment after a long day and find yourself sad, lonely, 2,000 miles from home and covered in peanut butter pork rind dust. When you’re home, you can always have “your” snacks waiting.
Home bed — Maybe the #1 overall point in the argument of home vs. abroad. A bed that you know. A bed that you trust. I can sleep just about anywhere, but there is nothing that can compare to the safety and comfort of your own bed. That feeling when you lay down at night and you know that your pillow is going to ever-so-gently cradle your head. That your mattress is going to hug every misshapen curve of your body. And that your higher-than-normal thread count sheets will lie quietly across your buttocks not daring to speak a word of the things they have seen…
Shit is easy — It can be easy to overlook how good we’ve got it here in the U.S. I mean, I can pick up my phone right now and order food, beer, a car, a massage and a 1989 Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card, and they’ll all be here within minutes. I can walk into a store, converse with the employees in English and pay the price shown on the price tag without haggling. My faucet? I can just turn it on and drink from it! We have it SO easy here.
Other pros of living at home — I mean, I guess being close to family and stuff is cool. Having friends to do stuff with is also cool. It’s incredibly easy to watch sports. You can actually have some semblance of a routine.
The Cons
Like my grandmother used to say, “the world isn’t all sunshine and soft serve ice cream.” (she didn’t stay that, but still)
Living Abroad
Hot locals who won’t talk to you — The fact of that matter is that people just appear hotter when you’re traveling. Ever heard of the expression, “A 2 on the road is a 10″…? Probably not because I just made it up, but the point remains. You run into so many people abroad where you think to yourself, “wow, they’re beautiful.” Unfortunately, for whatever reason (definitely not just a me thing. definitely not), these beautiful people will not communicate with you.
FOMO — I know, I know, just typing the word “FOMO” out loud made me violently dry heave, but it does hold some merit here. There were times when I’d be checking my phone on the beach sipping a beer and I’d be like, “My friends are at the same shitty dive bar we go to every single weekend…? And they got Chinese takeout…?! WHY AM I NOT THERE?!?” And I’d be dead serious.
Dirty laundry — I lived out of a single suitcase for an entire year, so I was forced to trim down my wardrobe a bit. And, of course, rather than trying to navigate the Czech laundromat, I just operated on the sniff test system. (anyone who knows me and knows I do this exact same thing at home, just with slightly more clothes, please disregard this bullet point…)
Other cons of living abroad — Having to put in effort to make friends. You tolerate shitty stuff just cause it’s “part of traveling.” It’s super difficult for people to mail you gifts on your birthday.
Living at home
Can’t make people jealous — 98% of the reason why I traveled the world in the first place was so that I could make people say, “Fuck you, Ryan! Your life is so cool. I’m so jealous!” No one says that anymore when I’m living at home and my Saturdays consist of cleaning out my grandmother’s garage.
Wildly different expectations — In Spain, you can just go take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. In Australia, you can just rock up to the office at 11AM soaking wet in a wetsuit. Here at home, at 27-years-old, there are societal expectations. “Why aren’t you engaged?” “What do you mean you’re not working a real job?” “You live at home with your parents… why?!?” The closer to home, the louder the questions get.
Feeling “trapped” — We’ve all asked the question before… “Is there more out there?” Is the grass greener on the other side? Am I just withering away in my parents’ basement during my best years? Are these my best years? Oh my god, is that an ear hair? What if I’m just alone here plucking ear hairs until I die?
Other cons of living at home — Chores. Are chores a thing when you live internationally? I don’t think I ever did any. Shit is expensive. It’s easier to accumulate “stuff.” A bathing suit and no shirt is not a socially acceptable wardrobe.
Just different
So, like I said, there’s not one option that’s better than the other. They’re just different. Veryyyyyy different. I’ll let you decide for yourself.
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Originally published at yoproco.com on April 4, 2019.
