liberate yourself from the victim mentality
You feel that you have all the goodness in the world, you always give your best to others but they don’t appreciate you, you try to find a job to support yourself and your family but the country’s situation doesn’t allow you, you seek to acquire new skills and competencies but your mind doesn’t help you, you are the best son in the house and the best friend but you don’t get the appreciation you deserve … Why? Because you play the victim.
The role of the victim is defined according to scientists as a person’s sense of permanent helplessness and permanent grievance from the challenges of life without trying to take responsibility for changing, it is the role that makes a person a lot of blame for others, loses his sense of being and distinction, infects all the cells of his body with moral paralysis, he has members but uses them to return and not to progress, he has a mind but he only uses it to invent justifications and arguments, he has a heart but does not love himself.
The person who adopts this role believes that any bad feeling, failure or mistake he makes, is due to factors beyond his ability to control. The more he realizes that people feel resentful of what he is going through, the more he feels that he is noble, according to the prevailing erroneous beliefs that the oppressed person is always a symbol of nobility and goodness, and until this role is proven, he thwarts everything he seeks to achieve in a conscious or unconscious way, and searches for the existing external conditions and factors to use them as excuses, so the burden of responsibility is shifted, and because he transfers the power Controlling his life from himself to the external environment, this environment of volatile conditions and circumstances will affect him because he is the one who bowed before them willingly.
If external factors alone determine the present and future of us, why do we find in the far town an active farmer who works hard, achieves large profits and offers many products, women working from their homes in e-marketing for example, while we find a group of people claiming that the town should be demolished because of its geographical location and nature…
The same thing in rich and multicultural countries, why do you find a family adhering to its principles and another family that renews its identity every day in line with the prevailing trends without constants or controls…
If the external environment is the controlling element, directing and enforcing its laws, why if you enter prison through one door, you will find people who eat the same food and receive the same treatment, among them the penitent who has just confessed his guilt and asks for forgiveness, the hater who plans to take revenge on his enemies as soon as he gets out, and among them the longing who does nothing but wait and live with memories…
External elements inevitably exist, and no one can deny this, but the lesson is that it is your way of dealing with these things that shape your life, and not the factors themselves that do!
If you are a student suffering from poor organization of administrative and study processes in your university, and you are surprised by an exam soon, do not wear the victim’s dress and complain, take out your books and start, wake up early and organize your time, use the Internet to get a detailed explanation of any difficult issue, give your best and you will find that you are able to pass this experience.
When you graduated and started looking for work and then did not find, you could have stuck to the victim’s ideas and cursed the country, politics and the economy, but you could also set them aside and keep trying, invest your time in learning a new language, participate in volunteer activities that have a positive impact, develop plans to strengthen your technical, life and technological skills, then research reasons such as writing a CV more professionally, or hiring experts to help you prepare for job interviews, and other things that will make you an investor of your time and achieve new successes. They will inevitably be waiting for you.
So, You Are the decision maker, you are the perpetrator, you are the savior and you are the victim, either you recognize the strengths and abilities you possess, develop them, plan and row, or decide to submit to your illusions, bowing your head in the face of challenges. Take off this role you are wearing, unleash your potential, change your beliefs to change your reality, stop waiting and be the change, it will not require more than one step which is “make the decision now”, and as the ancients said, “it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”
