The Silver Lining of Seclusion:
How to deal with seclusion and not being able to fit in friend groups
“Why are they all able to get along together but not with me? Why am I the odd one out? I want to be like that too. I should put myself out there to grow my social circle, I’m so awkward…” How many times was your mind stormed with these questions as you observe students getting along with each other, a new worker in the company instantly clicking with everybody while you still can’t do small talk? or various other situations which you find yourself all alone. As humans, we are inherently wired to socialize, but that doesn’t mean everyone is forced to socialize. Being alone is not shameful, that is, if you consider the following facts.
- Being Secluded and Escaping Bad Influence:
“A rotten apple spoils the whole barrel” and as such, a friend spoils another.
Let’s take teenagers as an example, most would try their best to be part of the “popular and cool ones” who are usually other teens who sneak out, party, slack at school, and stereotypically have a negative influence.
Being alone provides you with enough time to observe and evaluate your surroundings. This provides you with the right standards to set for your friendships and ponder whether these are the type of people you want to be surrounded with.
Being unable to fit in with such a group is a blessing in disguise, one you may not realize now but definitely when older. This time alone allows you to learn and distinguish good friends from people wasting your time and eventually saving yourself the hassle of altering yourself to fit their behaviors.
2.Being Secluded and Having Stronger Family Ties:
Being alone and having no one to hang out with leaves you with an epiphany that your family is there, you don’t need to change yourself to fit into a family you were born into.
They are there to embrace you and spend time with you whenever you need it. Instead of hanging out with others who you may not get along with, you can hang out with your siblings, spend time with your parents, or even visit relatives.
3. Being secluded and Building Higher Quality Relationships:
“Rejection is protection ”; is a famous quote that is meant to give you hope in current mishaps in your life.
If you live by this quote and compare it to life around you, you realize its accuracy. Whether it’s a job rejection, or in our scenario being left out by people, you’re probably being protected and redirected to a more refined group.
Several people can account how they spent most of their lives alone before finally finding a group of friends that matches their personality and respects their beliefs and standards.
So remember that the next time you are not included in a group outing or a night out.
4. Being Secluded and Increased Productivity:
It is popularly believed that time alone would decline your mental health, cause you anxiety, and numerous other issues that surely don’t sound like a fun time.
This has a truth to it as we are biologically social species who are meant to socialize and interact to build societies. How about if I tell you that the opposite is also true? now before you get all confused, consider with me.
Introverts are people who find joy and energy in alone time and unplanned social events would only put them in so much distress. This could be seen through the manifested overthinking or the suffocation of the crowd. Well that doesn’t sound very helpful to mental health either, does it?
Believe it or not, many people who aren’t social by nature, find alone time to be quite recharging and inspiring to find a hobby or ponder about future life decisions.
5. Being Secluded and Building Independence and Resilience:
It is undeniable that feeling secluded comes with pain, sometimes an overwhelming amount.
Anyhow, This pain will put you in a situation where there’s no one to count on but yourself, no one will make you feel better than you would. you’ll find out how to save yourself, how to pick yourself up and grow. With every rejection or seclusion, you learn more about yourself rather than escaping it. Most people seek others to escape their alone time, they try to go out and meet others to avoid the vulnerability of being by oneself.
A strong person is not surrounded by acquaintances and is loved by a huge group of people. s/he finds joy in their own company and believes that their company is a privilege to others.
CONCLUSION:
To sum up, seclusion -whether voluntarily or just being unable to fit in- leaves one with unpleasant feelings of rejection and pain. However, these points are a reminder that there is a silver lining. Take the initiative to see the good in the situation, you’ll be able to make the most out of it and work on yourself, eventually even attracting higher-quality people you deserve to be surrounded with.
After all, quality over quantity; so save yourself the time, effort, and energy into investing in relationships that give you security, love, and understanding instead of relationships built on molding yourself into certain people’s preferences.
However, it is important to know that extreme seclusion also harms one’s self-esteem and mental health. As such, it is recommended that you make a balance between alone time and socialization in order to have a balanced healthy social life.
