COURSES 100: Recommendations for the U of A Course Catalogue
By Shadi
The deadline for swapping courses has come and gone and so too has the the deadline for dropping courses sans W. But, as always, after schmoozing Bear Tracks for hours and trying to settle on the last two courses of my degree, I was left wanting more.
I understand the U of A is a prestigious academic institution, but the courses can be very expected. Very obvious. Mathematics-this, biology-that; much like this year’s Oscars, the courses could use some diversity to better reflect the life of a student. I took it upon myself to come up with a few recommendations.
CNTGO 100 — Introduction to Contigo Mugs.
Apparently a necessity for all U of A students, this course would serve as an introduction to why your coffee gets cold after 3 hours.
BLING 499 — Hotline
An important lesson in what happens when you leave the city.
CLASS ETIQT 200 — Fake It Till’ You Make It
80% of lectures are spent multi-tasking: writing and thinking about something completely different at the same time. The other 15% is typically reserved for Tinder and Pinterest. This leaves 5% for answering questions — which is why participation marks are on average worth 5% of your final grade.
MEME 411 — Advanced Memes
A really great way to show all your Facebook “friends” how funny you are.
ODR 102 — Introduction to Outdoor Rinks
“Yeah me and the boys are going to pick up a few and then head’er to the ODR for some shinny”
“Wait — what?!?”
PARK 407 — Advanced Methods in Scamming Free Parking (Or, Learning to Appreciate Your U-Pass)
There is rarely a greater feeling than coming back to your car, with your windshield wipers at the same level of stationary as when you left it. Especially if you just took the bus.
UNI 400 — Student Budgeting
While not many of us are actually living below any poverty lines, we are often budget conscientious. Seriously though, the Safeway just off campus will overcharge you on everything. Do yourself a favour and either bum a ride to Superstore or head down Whyte Ave to Save-On-Foods.
SWOL 101 — Bro
Self-explanatory.
TM HORT 322 — Patience, Confusion and Tim Hortons
Frankly if you’re still waiting 30 minutes at CAB Tim Hortons when you could walk to Katz and get your order in half the time, then you deserve an F in life.
WLKING 113 — Fundamental Skills in Walking
They should offer this. Based on me trying to walk around people, they should really offer this.
WTANG 231–36 Chambers
Basically, 50 or so people sitting around, while GZA and RZA bless their ears with new verse every class.
So — I’ve got a few ideas. If you have any, feel free to throw them in the comment section below, and I might make your idea into an “official” course offering.
Editor’s note: An earlier version of this post had referenced “MEME 411 — Adanced Memes”…. and while it turns out that there are hits when you Google the word “adanced” we definitely meant to type “advanced.” Now you know.
