It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Editor’s note: Academic and wellness support services are paused during winter closure Dec. 25, 2020— Jan. 3, 2021. Emergency supports will continue to be offered; visit the Need Help Now? page or call 2–1–1, who can refer you to both off and on-campus services. If there is an immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, call 9–1–1.

During her first year of post-secondary, Alex struggled to stay afloat in her classes as she went through many transitions involving her friends and family. Eventually, her mental health affected her to the point where she found it too difficult to continue doing what she loved to do.

“You don’t know when you wake up in the morning whether you’re going to feel alright enough to get up. You just have to wait it out because it’s not a physical thing, it’s psychological,” Alex recalls.

Having felt depression since she was bullied in grade school, Alex finally decided to seek professional help through the University of Alberta’s Counselling & Clinical Services, and the Peer Support Centre. She was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder and began several rounds of therapy sessions with counselors.

Although this type of experience might seem daunting, Alex is quick to explain that “there’s no shame in going to a doctor if you have a problem with your mental health because once you lose control of it, you can’t fix it on your own.”

With a proper diagnosis and professional treatment, Alex was able to manage her symptoms and became more aware of her mental health needs. As she puts it, “It takes effort to keep good mental health, just as if you would with creating a workout routine and diet plan to maintain your physical health.”

With a global pandemic affecting all aspects of our lives, 2020 has not been an easy year. If you are struggling to adjust to the “new normal,” you are not alone.

“Reactions to grief and stress will be different for everyone,” says Kevin Friese, Assistant Dean of Students Health & Wellness Service. “They may surface right away, or appear after some time has passed. I encourage individuals to be gentle with themselves, connect with friends and family, or engage the many support services available to you on and off campus.”

A full list of wellness services for students can be found here, and graduate students can find additional support here. There are also health and wellness services for students living outside of Alberta.

If you’re not sure what kind of support you need, reach out to any of the U of A support services and someone will help direct you to the resource that will best fit your individual needs. These services are professional, caring, non-judgmental, and confidential. They have helped many people on campus, and if you’re having a hard time, they can help you as well.

Asking for help is normal, healthy, and a sign of strength. You may have feelings surface a week or two from now. Maybe a month from now. Maybe a year from now. That’s natural and okay. Reach out whenever you need it. At no point will you be expected to have “moved on” from your feelings and experiences.

If you are able to lend support to someone simply by listening, we encourage you to do so. The #UAlbertaCares mental health videos have been developed by U of A students and members of our community to address mental health on campus, and also provide some advice for supporting others:

Approach the person you think may need support

● Share your concern about them (e.g. “I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed a little upset” and “I’m wondering how you’re doing?”)
● Ask how they are doing in a way that is compassionate and understanding.

Invite the person to talk about how they are feeling

● Ask open-ended questions and practice non-judgmental listening (e.g. “That sounds really hard”, or “I imagine that much be difficult right now.”).
● For most, having someone to speak with and feel understood will be enough to help.
● Share struggles that you’ve had to demonstrate that they are not alone (but do not compare experiences or suggest that your experience was worse).

Refer a person who needs more formal support

● Explore with them what kinds of professional services would be most useful (e.g. “I really don’t know what I’d do; what do you think about getting some experienced advice?”)
● Share the resources on this page with them, or if appropriate for you, support them by asking if they’d like you to help connect them with one of these resources.