Reaching Out For Academic Help (Online!) as an Overachiever
By Alex
Reaching out for help can be tough — there are all sorts of stigmas attached to it. We often fear asking stupid questions, or seeming too vulnerable or needy. We even fear that those around us will think less of us because we had to seek help. I think my fear was rooted in imposter syndrome, that getting help with my Master’s thesis meant that I didn’t deserve my spot in grad school.
I’ve always been a good student. I’ve been praised for my performance in school since kindergarten, when I was formally assessed and moved into the ‘gifted’ class. School has always been my safe space, where everything makes sense and comes natural to me. I genuinely enjoyed studying and seeing the fruits of my labour in high marks on my assignments and exams.
When I made the transition into university, I stumbled and struggled with the workload at first. After adjusting my study habits and schedule, I was able to handle it. I continued to do well in my classes, juggle leadership and volunteering, work part-time for a good company, and travel on study abroad programs. I’ve never had a tutor, and I’ve never asked for assistance with homework. Looking back, I wonder if the reason I didn’t ask for help was not because I didn’t need it, but because I thought that getting help with school was just something people like me didn’t do.
Fast forward to grad school, a place where you go to question everything you know. Hyperbole? Perhaps, but also the reality of my emotions for the past year. Unsure with how to proceed and improve my academic writing skills, I was recommended by a couple professors to stop by the Academic Success Centre (and even my YouAlberta editor!) and yet I never did.
It took almost drowning from the feeling of hopelessness about finishing my thesis in a pandemic, and being cut off from my usual resources and workspaces, to reach out for guidance. And I write this today to tell all of you not to wait until it gets this bad before you ask for help.
I reached out to the Academic Success Centre in May because I was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of tackling my thesis. I also didn’t know how to apply the feedback given to me by my professors to my writing style. I was struggling with being told that my writing was too casual or blog-like even though I felt like I was writing as academically as possible.
I was scheduled to speak with a Graduate Writing Specialist the following week. I’m not sure what I was expecting from the appointment, but at that point I was just desperate for a helping hand. The experience absolutely exceeded whatever expectations I did have. Here’s why.
1. I thought that me reaching out for advice meant that my writing style was “bad” and that I was “stupid.”
Instead, I was reassured that my writing was quite academic but there were certain steps I could take when forming paragraphs that would make it feel less casual. Even though I felt a bit silly or shy re-learning how to form a paragraph at the age of 25, I certainly did not feel stupid.
2. I had a lot of insecurity regarding my research topic.
My field of study, K-pop and Korean pop culture, is quite contemporary and I often feel like I have to defend my decision to study this among more “traditional” or “high culture” topics in East Asian Studies. This caused me to overuse quotes from other scholars as I attempted to “legitimize” my topic. The writing specialist took extra care in building my confidence to the point that I felt like I was in actual therapy. They encouraged me to “put in more of my own voice so I could own my writing” while “working with rejection in a positive way.” I felt extremely validated.
3. Part of the reason I haven’t made progress on my thesis since campus closed is due to the feeling of having so much work to do in terms of readings, edits, and writing.
I was so overwhelmed with the volume of work left to do and I had no idea where to start. My writing specialist assisted me with breaking down what I need to do into small bite-sized tasks so that I am able to work on two or three paragraphs a day. This way I don’t get overwhelmed and quit, and I feel a small sense of accomplishment thus helping me rebuild my confidence.
It’s important to me that all of you know that reaching out for any type of support does not mean you are stupid, weak, or dramatic. It means that you are committed to pulling yourself out of a difficult situation. It means that you have the will to get better, evolve, and improve.
Even if you don’t have the same experience with school and academia as me, I’m sure many of you feel apprehensive about accessing online services. We’re so used to walking in and having face-to-face conversations with those supporting us. A lot of us are also struggling with Zoom fatigue. As well, it is uncharted territory for many of us. It’s true that many of the resources the university is offering virtually are going to have some hiccups as they work to accommodate changes and new ways to look after students. But in my experience, they are doing a pretty good job.
In my role as a mental health advocate, I have been in conversation with other service providers like the Community Social Work Team and the Counselling and Clinical Services team. I see their struggles to adapt to COVID-19 as parents, students, and humans themselves, yet I can feel their passion as they advocate for student needs to the university. I believe in their commitment to continuing to provide quality services and support for students during this rough transition.
Thank you to the service providers who continue to give wonderful advice and assistance to students. People like you and spaces like the Academic Success Centre are exactly what we need right now, and I hope my fellow students use their voices to keep resources like this around.
