How to Say “No” at Work

Lessons from Naomi Osaka’s bold statement

Picture a moment when you felt vulnerable.

A moment when the stress and anxiety of life started to bubble over. Your heart rate quickened. Your stomach jumped into your throat. Maybe this feeling lasted for minutes. Maybe days. Maybe weeks.

Maybe it turned into a form of depression. An overwhelming feeling that the pain and discomfort were never going to let up. That life would never get easier.

You felt stuck. Your mental health was suffering.

Now, in the midst of this vulnerability, imagine you had to stand in front of a group of hundreds of reporters. Camera lights flashing. Questions peppering you like dust in the face. One. After. Another.

This is exactly the situation faced by tennis player, Naomi Osaka.

If you haven’t already heard the story, here’s the gist. Naomi Osaka — the #2 ranked women’s tennis player in the world — was in the midst of competing for the French Open. As part of the tournament, she was required to speak to the media at designated times.

But she chose not to. She cited her mental health, the pressures of talking to the media, and her personal need to step away from that environment. The women’s tennis federation, in response, fined her $15,000 and warned her that further action could lead to a ban from future tournaments.

In the face of mounting pressure, both financial and career, Osaka made the bold decision to remove herself from the French Open altogether. And, in doing so, she cast a light on the mental health of athletes.

She also put on a masterclass in how to say “no” at work.

Here’s her response in full.👇👇👇

Saying “no” at work

It’s easy, in hindsight, to look at the decision Naomi Osaka made and label it the right one. The public has come down, almost unanimously, on her side. The company, Calm, responded by donating in her name. Even Will Smith sent a video praising her actions.

She rose above a tough situation.

But let’s not forget what was at stake. In the heat of the moment, Osaka had no idea what the public response would be. She didn’t know how the tennis federation would handle her actions. And she felt caught between what was right for her and what would land her in hot water.

Her response, then, was brave. And there are a number of lessons to be learned from how she navigated the situation.

We all, at some point in our careers, will face a fork in the road. It may come in the form of an ethical situation. It may be standing up to injustice. It may be facing down an abuser or walking away from a dynamic that threatens your health. It’s hard to know for certain.

But what is certain is that saying “no” in any work environment is tricky. Lean too far in one direction or the other and you could find yourself facing serious consequences. And even if you traverse the road flawlessly, you’ll often run up against a wall of pushback.

So today, let’s take a look at Naomi Osaka’s response as she walked away from the French Open. And let’s analyze the three key tactics she used to say “no” to a powerful group of people.

Lesson #1: Pick Your Battles

About a quarter of the way into her statement, Osaka drops some information that may not stand out on the first read. A hint at her mindset.

She says:

The truth is I have suffered long bouts of depression since the US Open in 2018 and I have had a really hard time coping with that.

2018. A full three years before the events of the French Open. Herein lies our first insight into how Naomi Osaka has been considering this situation. In short, she’s been thinking about it for a while.

For three years, Osaka has been active on the tour.
For three years, she’s had to face reporter after reporter.
For three years, her mental health has suffered.

Her actions, then, are not an act of desperation. They are planned protection.

When it comes to saying “no” at work, it can be wise to do as Naomi Osaka did and pick your battles with care. Pushing back often courts controversy. So you need to be prepared for the fallout.

Let me be clear. Picking your battles does not mean:
👉 Allowing someone else to walk all over you.
👉 Staying in an unsafe situation.
👉 Compromising your ethics.

But it does mean, when facing a tough situation, taking into account as many factors as possible before moving to action.

In Naomi Osaka’s position, she had a wide variety of factors to consider. She had to think about the response of the federation. The response of the media. The response of her fans. She also had to think about impacts to her livelihood and to her health.

Given the fact that it took 3 years for Osaka to speak out, we can assume she picked her battles carefully. Perhaps, in the past, the damage to her mental health was not as severe. Or she thought she could handle it better.

Perhaps at the French Open, the pot boiled over.

Takeaway: Consider your factors before saying “no.” What is the likely outcome? Are you properly weighing each dynamic?

Lesson #2: Speak Your Truth

If you look at Osaka’s statement, you’ll immediately realize that she’s talking about herself a lot. And, in this situation, that’s a good thing.

Rather than rail against the tennis federation, cite alarming trends in sports media, or call out those who backed her into a corner, Osaka chose instead to speak her truth. She focused on her personal struggles, the weight they placed on her, and the burden of her ultimate decision.

Here’s a short example:

So here in Paris I was already feeling vulnerable and anxious so I thought it was better to exercise self-care and skip the press conferences.

This approach did a couple of things. For starters, it shed a light on the mental health strain placed on athletes. Our society watches professionals of all shapes and sizes with avid enthusiasm. But how often do we think of them as people? How often do we think of their human struggles?

By stepping out of the spotlight, Osaka created a dialogue. An important one. Just because an athlete knows their job involves media attention, does that mean they forfeit all rights to privacy? She certainly doesn't think so

The other thing Osaka approach did, is it pulled the conversation away from power-play language and into a space of vulnerability. You could imagine a scenario where a high-powered tennis player used her social influence to try and rewrite the rules. But that’s not how Osaka approached it.

Instead, she focused on her own vulnerabilities and the impact her decision would have on those around her (even including the media). She opened up about her struggles and allowed the conversation to be about the real issue, mental health, rather than some sort of power struggle.

Takeaway: When it comes to saying “no,” focus on yourself. Speak your truth. You’ll find many people, although not all, will respond to your struggle with empathy and understanding. And in doing so, you’ll expand the conversation.

Lesson #3: Build a Bridge to Reconciliation

Naomi Osaka took the high ground. Even in the face of a cold response from the tennis federation, you can see an olive branch clearly outlined in her statement.

Here it is:

I wrote privately to the tournament apologizing and saying that I would be more than happy to speak with them . . . when the time is right I really want to work with the Tour to discuss ways we can make things better for the players, press and fans.

Osaka wants to come to the middle. And she’s laid out exactly how to do so. She’s told the Tour she wants to work with them. To talk with them about her struggles and how to help all parties involved reach a good solution.

This is true problem-solving.
And it builds a bridge to reconciliation.

There’s no telling whether the Tour will respond in a positive manner. And in the same way, when you choose to say “no” at work, there’s no telling whether your boss or co-worker will understand.

They might fume. They might hold it against you. Saying “no” is a risky move. But by including an olive branch, you leave open the door of possible re-connection. You make it easier to come back to the middle.

It’s important to note, though, that building a bridge to reconciliation does not mean backing down from your position. Naomi Osaka clearly says the media rules are “outdated.” She’s not giving an inch.

Instead, she’s recognizing that the two parties have competing ideas on the situation and offering a way forward. By building a bridge, Naomi Osaka is attempting to keep the lines of communication open.

Takeaway: Identify where the other person is coming from and offer a way forward. A path to a possible solution. This approach will not always work, but as long as the relationship still has value, it’s worth the effort to try and salvage it.

A Personal Conclusion

I want to wrap this article with a personal story. A tale of a time I had to say “no” at work. I’m hopeful my experience can serve as an example of approaching and thinking through these types of difficult encounters.

Here’s how it went.

I was brand new. Less than a year into my first big job after graduate school. Within the span of a few short months, I’d managed to form some good relationships and get assigned a project with a ton of exposure.

Things were going pretty well.

Then, one day, I got a message out of nowhere. It was another member of the team — someone I’d never interacted with before. Her message was short and to the point. She was passing along a request from our executive. A quick hits deliverable that was needed by the end of the day.

She began to describe it. The task involved calling several of our competitors, pretending to be a potential client, and gathering up as much information as possible. It should be easy, she said.

But something wasn’t sitting right with me.

Although this form of data gathering was pretty common in our industry, it bothered me. A lot. I didn’t want to lie to someone. I didn't feel it was ethical to make up facts about a fictitious backstory.

The curser flashed in front of my eyes.
I had to respond.

So I wrote back an answer. I said I didn’t feel comfortable lying, even though it was industry practice. That it felt unethical to me. I kept my message simple and spoke my truth the best I could.

Then, I offered to help in another way. I said I’d be willing to take work off someone else’s plate if they wanted to make the calls. My thought was if someone on the team wasn’t bothered ethically by this task, they could do it. And I could help ease their load in some other way.

The woman I was messaging sent a one-word reply. And that was that. I didn’t hear anything about it again for a long time.

A year later, I was grabbing lunch with a good friend of mine who was also on that team. He was talking about some project he was on and the dynamic with the executive. I mentioned the story of me saying “no” and was surprised when my friend said he was familiar with it.

Turns out, my friend was in the room when the executive found out I’d said “no.” And the executive was furious. He was about to call me into his office when my friend stepped in to defend me.

The executive hemmed and hawed for a few minutes before dropping it and moving on. And I moved on to another team in a matter of months.

But I think about this story all the time.

Whether I should have explained myself more. Or just made the calls. I wonder if that decision has impacted my career at all. If the executive talks about me behind closed doors. It’s hard to know.

After reading Naomi Osaka’s statement, though, I’m glad I said “no.” I picked my battles. I spoke my truth. And I built a bridge to reconciliation. More than anything, though, I lived out my personal ethics.

And you can’t put a price tag on that.

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