An Unlikely Psychological Tool: How To View The Difficult People In Your Life Like Superheros
We’ve all faced those individuals who just don’t give you a break.
You know the type. Those individuals who:
- Listen to none of what you have to say
- Are passive aggressive and irritate everyone
- Work the system and only think of their own best interest
I just finished my 5 year program at college, and like most people, I’ve met all types of people.
They aren’t always the nicest.
In those five years, I’ve gone through 3 very different groups of friends, I have cut ties with those who were toxic. “Friend-break ups” are a thing, and knowing how to handle them is something I wish I had known 5 years ago.
Through all my trials, and insights from one key book, I’ve shifted my mind to see difficult people as heroes rather than a pain. Here are a few words of wisdoms I’ve picked up along the way:
“Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.”
— Joseph Campbell
1. An Unlikely Psychological Tool: The Hero’s Journey
My favorite Mythologist, Joseph Campbell studied literature and stories from different parts of the world. And he found this one common theme in all the stories which he coined as… The Hero’s Journey.
What is the Hero’s Journey? Joseph Campbell says that all individuals go through the following acts:
- Separation: This is our call to adventure, that voice in our heads is telling you to do more
- Initiation: This is where we accept that call to adventure and go down a road of trails. This is where we are faced with our greatest fears (quitting a job you hate, starting a blog, breaking up with a friend, etc)
- Return: This is where you emerge into your newest self and a new status quo.
And this cycle keeps going every time you take on an adventure or calling.
2. “Difficult People”: They took a wrong turn
We all take wrong turns in life. I’ve became the master of taking wrong turns in college. The second year of college, I was irritated. I would blame everyone else for my circumstances; I wasn’t happy.
To the point where I would blow up in front of my friends, blaming them for all the negative things in my life. I was incredibly passive aggressive too…
Again, I was lost. I wasn’t happy with my circumstances that were given to me. I didn’t know I had a choice to turn around and go down another path.
What to takeaway from this: You have a choice!! If you aren’t happy with a group of people, you have the power to move on and surround yourself with individuals who see the potential in you.
I didn’t know I had a choice to turn around and go down another path.
3. What They Don’t Realize: They are on the cusp of blossoming
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
Yup, I couldn’t help but put a cheesy quote on this point. But honestly, like the butterfly….
Most individuals, especially difficult ones are on the verge of transforming themselves to their truest self.
Like the Hero’s Journey tells us. This is where a hero separates themselves from their current reality and embarks into the unknown.
That transition is uncomfortable and scary, and for most, they don’t know how to process those emotions except to be difficult and a pain to others.
4. Sometimes, you have to give these hero’s space. Every hero needs their bat-cave.
Sometimes, we just need to give people space.. That’s the reality.
Fundamentally we love helping people, even the difficult ones. We believe we can change them. But truthfully…
Only the hero can change themselves.
I love being a living in the ‘20-something year old’ era. Mainly because as young professionals, we’re going to be surrounding ourselves with many types of individuals. Most of the time, the interactions will be great.
To Recap: How To Handle Difficult People
But here is what you should consider when you DO face someone who is being a pain in the you know where..
- Listen to them…RESPECT THEM.
- Share your story
- Or if nothing works… Just give them space.
Till next time, live the Hero’s Journey my friends.
— HP
PS — Watch the hero’s journey explained >>> here <<<
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Published By Nametag.
