The Five Things That Happen When You Begin To Tame Your Ego (& How To Do It)
Leaving your ego unchecked is the classic tragedy.
But shutting it down completely is a new, contemporary one.
There are so many times where I’ve given someone a compliment and the first thing they do is brush it off. They tense up and refuse to embrace the compliment.
Why is that?
Young men and women who are entering the real world today have the most difficulty with owning their strengths and accepting compliments.
And I think I know why…
For us to embrace our truest identity, to own our strengths, our talents… We need first to own our Ego. And not only own our ego but also SHOW it to the world.
There is a fine line between good ego and bad ego.
We need to clarify the distinction between what is good ego and what is bad ego.
Most often, you see bad ego at the workplace. As 20-something-year-olds, we need to keep an eye out for these individuals. These are the people who shoot you down when you present a new idea to increase sales. These are the people who micromanage you. Because to them, their way is the ONLY way.
This type of ego that is hurtful and most importantly, damaging to the person themselves. We clearly do not want that description labeled to our personal brand.
Instead, the world wants to see your Good Ego.
When you harness the power of Good Ego, you shift your mindset to be always learning new things and to see other people as equal.
People with Good Ego understand that their views don’t revolve around the universe. They’re the ones who get EXCITED to listen to other opinions. Because to them, they understand that they don’t know everything. They know that sometimes, the people around them can contribute more to a project than doing it on their own.
That’s the ego we want.
The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something. — Muhammad Iqbal
How to avoid Bad Ego
First, you need to surround yourself with people who aren’t afraid to tell you how it is. These are the people who bring you down to reality when you’re overconfident.
Second, stop thinking that you know everything. It’s not true. Honestly, you know a small percentage when you compare yourself to the people around you. So how do you avoid isolating yourself? Constantly keep learning and work hard.
Learning something new is a great way to humble yourself.
Third, stop being over confident on things you shouldn’t be certain on. Just because you proved people wrong in one thing doesn’t give you the right to be a know-it-all.
This again ties back to surrounding yourself with people who aren’t afraid to call you out.
Check out Lewis Howe’s Interview with Ryan Holiday on Overcoming Your Ego where they dive deeper into this topic.
Now that you know how to avoid falling into the depths of Bad Ego, let me tell you the 5 BIG reasons why we need your Good Ego.
1. You’ll produce better work
Once you start to own your Good Ego, you’ll start to grow more confident in your skill-set. Once you harness your skill-set, you ultimately start to produce better work.
There is an excellent article on Business Insider that explains this idea well. A Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile had 238 employees keep a diary of their workday. At the end of the experiment, she found this one pattern:
A close analysis of nearly 12,000 diary entries, together with the writers’ daily ratings of their motivation and emotions, shows that making progress in one’s work — even incremental progress — is more frequently associated with positive emotions and high motivation than any other workday event.
Progress in one’s work is more of a motivator than a pay raise. For us to see progress, we need to own our skills and put in the work to showcase our abilities.
2. You’ll discover untapped potential that you thought you never had
It’s interesting how the more confident you become, the more willing you are to take on risks. As you start to take more risks, you start to put yourself in uncharted territory where your skills are put to the test.
It’s in the process of trying to find your way out where you begin to tap into your unlimited strength and courage. Joseph Campbell said it best when he coined the Hero’s Journey.
He said that every individual who embarks on a journey has to cross a threshold from their ordinary world into a ‘special world’ where he’s met with challenges and obstacles. During his trials, the hero continues to grow has he overcomes his fears and doubts.
And once the hero returns from the ‘special world’ he is more confident and willing to take on more adventures. Here is a great video to explain this further.
3. It’s good for your mindset
I’m a firm believer in feeding the mind healthy information. That also means not feeling insecure or shameful when someone acknowledges your strengths.
If you aren’t accepting and taking the credit you deserve, you are slowly training your mindset to believe that you aren’t deserving of these acknowledgments or attributes.
Like the saying goes,
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”— Mahatma Gandhi
4. You start to own what you’re good at
A Good Ego has a snowball effect. The moment you create a sense of pride and confidence, you start asking yourself what can I accomplish? You no longer look at challenges as impossible. In fact, you begin to welcome the uncertainty that comes with challenges.
As you take on more risks, your skills will be continuously tested. Your confidence in overcoming challenges will force you to tap into potential that you thought never existed.
As you continue to become more self-aware of your strengths and skills, you’ll become even more confident and more willing to own what you’re good at.
5. Ego is your identity, so you might as well own it.
By definition, Ego is defined as ‘One’s person’s self-esteem’ or in philosophy, our ego is ‘A conscious thinking subject.’
Our Ego is our identity. And when used correctly, we have the power to change everything around us.
Potential is a priceless treasure, like Gold. All of us have gold hidden within, but we have to dig to get it out. — Joyce Meyer
