5 Things to do When You Feel Misunderstood

by people you’re paying to understand you

There are very few things that are more frustrating than being misunderstood by someone you are paying to understand you. Whether you’re working with a coach, consultant, photographer, publicist or other branding expert, you have a right to be known and understood so they can provide you with advice and services that apply to you and will actually help you move forward.

The next time you feel misunderstood, use these suggestions to clear things up.

1. Check to be sure you understand what the other person is suggesting. Your communication confusion may be a matter of perception and you could clear it up with a few questions. “This is what I hear you saying. Is that what you mean?” But if you are feeling defensive or angry, the conversation may become unnecessarily intense. Try to reserve judgment about the idea until you have figured out exactly what the other person means.
2. Get a second opinion from someone you trust. If you’ve been given advice that feels contradictory to what your gut is telling you, don’t assume the other person’s advice is right. But don’t completely write it off, either. It’s possible that you’ve been alerted to a blind spot and addressing it could prove fruitful for you. But if it feels wrong, be sure to check with someone who really does know, understand and care about you.
3. Be sure you know who you are and what you want to say. If you are unclear when working with someone else, they will unintentionally fit you into the scheme of their previous experience. You’ll be put into a box and offered responses that fit that box rather than service or advice specific to you. That’s why you want to know who you are and what you’re all about before you begin paying someone who needs to understand you.
4. Ask yourself if you have been completely clear with the other person. Have you attempted to soften or hold back in communicating with them? Are you going back and forth on what you want to do, communicate or accomplish? If so, let the other person know that you’re not clear yet and ask them if they can help you figure it out.
5. Move on, if necessary. If you are working with someone who does not understand you, and they are not responsive to your clarification, then it’s time to move on. Do not waste time or money in a business relationship with someone who is not able to understand you. Trust me, there are people out there who will.

If you want to be sure you’ll be understood by people you’re paying to understand you, download the Focus Your Brand DIY workbook. It’s a free resource I’ve created to help you come up with a simply brand strategy so you can communicate clearly who you are and what you have to say.