Getting Hired and Finding a Date Require the Same Skills
I’ll begin by saying I’m in no way comparing having a job to maintaining a relationship. Because, while they do require some of the same skills, you can sell yourself logically and statistically as an employee/worker in ways that you just can’t when trying to make a relationship work. Because you can quantify good work but that doesn’t work necessarily work with romantic partners. The heart wants what it wants, and you can’t rationalize love.
Now bear with me on this because I know the two are very different and pose entirely different outcomes and require different levels of emotional intelligence (to an extent), but the same skills you use to market yourself as a professional can also apply to selling yourself as a datable person. Do things like adding unmatched value to their lives, communicating, setting expectations, being persistent (to an extent) and creating a call to action find your dream job and dream mate. (*results may vary*)
Add Value.
For a job: Does the position require a lot of writing? Write a test piece about a topic you’ve noticed is trending but hasn’t been done on their site yet. And do it without being asked. You’ll show initiative and that you’re in touch with industry trends.
Pro tip: don’t lazily link to something you’ve written that sort of applies but not really. Create original content specific to the company’s needs and voice. If they end up not liking it or not using it, you can always use it as another piece for your website or portfolio.
Do something no one is doing. If the position requires filling out an online form, go out of your way to find the email address of a department head or a hiring manager and reach out to them directly to follow up. Submitting a job application via online form is the equivalent to balling up your resume and throwing it in the trash. The job market is too competitive to be just another resume on the list. Do whatever it takes to get yourself noticed and get your name in the heads of the decision makers.
For a date: The same rules apply. It may seem like every article talks about how millennials can’t hold down relationships. Well, it’s because dating apps and social media make the dating pool more competitive than ever. Don’t be another “Hey” that gets left on ‘read.’ “Hey” is meaningless. Did they mention they like country music? Send a link to a new artist you’ve been listening to or share an album recommendation to break the ice.
Pro tip: this is not the time or place to promote your mixtape
Be Persistent But Not Pushy
For a job: One thing I’ve learned since beginning my freelance journey is to be patient and not take things personally. Most of the time, people are just busy. Just like you and I are working and don’t respond to emails right away. Others are (spoiler alert) also just busy. Which makes following up essential to getting noticed. In fact, out of hundreds of pitches I’ve sent, only a small percentage have answered the very first message. It’s not for lack of interest. It’s because of the volume of applicants and pitches they receive daily, and the fact that they have jobs and lives that take priority to your cold outreach. It’s nothing personal. Following up shows that you’re serious and on top of your game.
For a date: Take this strategy with a grain of salt because if someone is ignoring you, it could very well say they’re not interested. But it could also mean that the person is busy or are unsure of your intentions because they don’t know you. Refer to tip #1 and find a way to add value to make them see that you’re serious about forming a connection. It’s also crucial to initiate a call to action, which brings us to the next point.
Suggest a Call to Action
For a job: Sending a resume with no call to action is a very rookie mistake. Take the initiative and propose a call, video chat or in-person meeting to show how serious you are. Don’t suggest an arbitrary meeting time with the monotonous “let me know when you are free.” Suggest an actual date and time (or a few for them to choose from) but also, make it known that you are flexible to meet at their convenience.
Even simpler than that, offer to send them something of value (see above) and require a simple yes or no response.
Could I send you a quick report outlining how your marketing strategy compares to that of your competitors?
You’re not asking them to put in any time or work. If you receive a response, you automatically have a reason to reach out again, and the next time you do, it’ll no longer be cold because you’ve officially made the connection.
For a date: Talk is cheap if there is no follow through. If the conversation is going nowhere, the odds are that you’re not creating a call to action (or maybe you’re just not very interesting). In a world of endless dating apps and countless people using these apps, it’s easy to get trapped in a texting vortex, which to most, can get boring. Plan a date or a casual get together, and their answer will tell you everything you need to know. If the call to action is well-received and you make plans, you know it could be real. If not, they might just be looking for casual conversation or validation with no intention of wanting to meet in person.
Set Expectations
For a job: Setting expectation right up front will save you a great deal of awkwardness and negotiations down the line. If you agree to send a prospect a sample of your work or piece of content, then set a deadline for yourself and make the client aware of your timeline. If you have particular payment requirements that you are unwilling to waver on, let them know that up front as well. If there are specific tasks that you are reluctant to do, again, communicate. It isn’t to say you can’t be flexible. If you’re a web developer and a client requires a website as well as marketing services, do your best to recommend someone who does marketing. It will naturally build your connections to other people in the industry and create a referral system. It will also make the client’s life a little bit easier and show you’re willing to help them outside of the realm of what they hired you to do.
For a date: Once again, set expectations up front to avoid awkwardness, and in this case, heartbreak. If you’re looking for something serious, don’t be afraid to make that known when the time is right. If you’re looking to meet new people casually, let them know as well. Their responses to the information should tell you all you need to know about their intentions. Communication is severely lacking in modern-day dating because of the breadth of options people have at their disposal and people relying on social media as an appropriate method of learning information about a person.
Sarah Aboulhosn is a writer and marketing specialist. She loves good design, flying over oceans, and is a self proclaimed pop culture expert (seriously, ask her anything). Learn more about how she can help you create the content you deserve at www.sarahaboulhosn.com.
