10 Myths The Lingerie Industry Causes Small-Breasted Women to Believe
Part of feeling comfortable in your body is rising above the urge to compare yourself to others.
I know, easier said than done. Especially when the messages we see all reinforce the same things. It can make you feel like you’re the outsider, the abnormal one. However, when we take a step back and recognize that these messages are not representative of reality, that they are more myths than facts, it becomes easier to see them at face value . . .and simply let them go.
Next time you see a Victoria’s Secret Angel ad, try approaching it this way:
Hmm, she has perfect cleavage. That’s nice. It looks different from what I have. But just because I don’t have that doesn’t mean I am not attractive. This is just an observation, nothing more than that. Movin’ on!
Accept the message for what it is, then let it roll off your back. At first you will probably have to consciously remind yourself to react this way. But over time, this reaction will start to become your default pattern. Once you’re able to do this, you’ll start to notice a gradual shift in your mindset and the way that you view yourself.
Here are some of the top “myths” that I’m confronted by on a regular basis. When we’re constantly bombarded by these messages, it can be difficult to remember that we shouldn’t internalize them. That’s why it’s important for us to take a step back and pause, so that we can recognize these messages for what they actually are — simple statements. Not standards.
Myth #1: You’re small, so you don’t need a bra
Lucky you! You’re tiny on top so you have the freedom to go with a bra or without. FALSE. Yes, we may not need the support that larger girls need, BUT we still want shaping. I’m so tired of other women telling me I’m so lucky that I don’t need a bra. Because we are dainty, clothes can minimize or flatten the shape of small breasts, and that’s not what we want. I want to preserve my natural shape, and that is the main reason I wear a bra — so that I look and feel the best in my clothes. Small-breasted women may not need a bra for the same reasons other women do, but we still need one for our own reasons.
Myth #2: Bigger is better
17% of females in the US are size A cup or smaller. That’s nearly one fifth of the female population! And that’s not even considering the many B cup women who still feel inadequate and feel pressure to get plastic surgery. But for whatever reason, lingerie brands have chosen to highlight women with medium-large breasts, making small-breasted women feel inadequate or atypical. It doesn’t help when ads tie ego to breast size. Just remember — there’s a lot of us with small busts!
Myth #3: There’s one type of sexy
Sexy doesn’t have to mean “in the bedroom”. There’s more to sex appeal than lace, stilettos, and cleavage. What about the sex appeal that shines through when you’re doing something that you’re passionate about? When you’re confident and feel most alive? We have to remember that sexy is an ATTITUDE and MINDSET grounded in confidence, not external appearance.
Myth #4: All women look like the pages of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue
This is just not true. Sadly I fell victim to this belief for years. It’s nearly impossible to know what real women look like when breasts are covered under bras and shirts, and the only exposed breasts we see are in lingerie magazines. However, once I started showering at gyms and seeing what real women looked like underneath their bras, I experienced a total shift in my mindset. Breasts come in ALL shapes and sizes. Take a look at this website for a reality check.
Myth #5: If you’re small, you want to be told you’re little and cute
Sure, little things are cute. Babies are cute because they are little miniatures of real people. However, just because I have small breasts doesn’t mean I want to be referred to as “itty bitty” or “cute.” “Sexy” shouldn’t be relegated to women with shapely breasts and ample cleavage. Take a look at photos of Keira Knightley or Olivia Wilde, or the brand For Love and Lemons — you won’t see any cutesiness there. It’s pure strength, sex appeal, and confidence. Size is irrelevant.
Myth #6: Breasts = ultimate sign of a woman
This myth goes way back to when we were little girls. Remember playing dress up and stuffing socks in your blouse to “look grown up”? I certainly did that. We’ve been told our whole lives that we will get breasts when we grow up, and we can’t help but associate them with womanhood. We see images in the media of big, round breasts and we assume we will get a pair just like that. Sure, it can be disappointing to think you’ll be getting one thing your whole life and then find out that you won’t have that, but why harp on the negative? Plus, it’s not a black and white issue. Having smaller breasts does not mean that you’re less of a woman. You still have boobs, they’re just smaller boobs. Plus, let’s not forget that there are SO many other beautiful things about us that make us real women. Focus on your booty, the curve of your hips, your maternal instincts — whatever it is that you’ve developed as a female and that you love about yourself. Look at yourself as a whole person. Remember, your body is greater than the sum of its parts.
Myth #7: Every piece of underwear you own should be hyper-sexualized
Traditionally, the intimate apparel market has relied on hyper-sexualized ads and styles in order to sell products. I won’t deny that sex sells, but just because something has worked in the past doesn’t mean that it’s the ONLY way to do something. Today’s female consumer is looking for something different. Fortunately, new brands like Lively and MeUndies have tapped into this insight and offer products that feel fresh and pretty, but are comfortable and easy to wear.
Myth #8: There’s such thing as “one” t-shirt bra
False. If you’re only wearing one type of bra, read this post right now and go immediately to the store. You need several styles of bras in order to feel confident with different styles of shirts. There is no one ‘perfect’ bra that looks great with every shirt. I recommend at least 3 styles to start: a strapless, a regular bra with a plunge cut (lightly lined, or not), and a racer-back. If you’re not feeling comfortable with your bras and how they look under your clothes, you’re probably just not wearing the right one.
Myth #9: Everyone has cleavage
We have to remember that the perfect cleavage we see in magazines is just not what the average woman has. That is often achieved with a meticulously applied airbrush spray tan, a healthy dose of bronzer, and special lighting. Oh, and these are MODELS — meant to be aspirational, not realistic.
Myth #10: The small-breasted women segment is not “big enough” to matter. Literally.
I went into a store the other day to buy a sports bra. The ads told me they were the “best sports bras in the world.” However after rummaging through drawers of bras and painstakingly searching all the racks, I turned up empty handed. “We only sell 32A bras online,” said the sales associate. “There’s just not enough demand.” What?! That is so not true. See #2 above. Sadly, this has happened to me more than once. There’ve been so many times that I’ve shopped in stores only to find that sizes only start at 34A or 32B. Unfortunately, this has the effect of making small-breasted women feel atypical or not normal. It’s up to us to stand up to this myth and consciously remind ourselves that this is not the reality. I think the problem is that small-breasted women have been ignored for so long that many smaller women have just given up, and they don’t demand the sizes they actually need. As a result, retailers assume the market for smaller bras is too small and not worth serving.
It’s easy to fall prey to these myths. We are bombarded by them on a daily basis. But if we make a conscious effort to take a step back, realize they are only messages and not reality, then we can begin the process of rising above their influence. Awareness is the first step. Change can only begin once you’re aware that you need and want to change your mindset.
Do you agree? Anything to add? Comment below!
And if these ideas resonated with you, please send me a comment or subscribe to my personal blog, Your Breast Self. Thanks for reading!
