YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.07.09

A ceasefire in Syria was announced at the G20 this past Friday in Hamburg, Germany, after a meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп. The ceasefire is seen by some sleepy analysts as the first step towards greater cooperation between Russia and the US in Syria.

White House National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster said in a statement Saturday that,

“The United States remains committed to defeating ISIS, helping to end the conflict in Syria, reducing suffering, and enabling people to return to their homes.”

When asked why this ceasefire was going to work when previous ceasefires in the country have failed, McMaster reportedly shrugged his shoulders and said, “Third time’s the charm.” When it was pointed out that this is the 5th ceasefire attempt, just a few months after the 4th attempt failed when rebel groups denounced the deal, McMaster reportedly pointed out the window, said, “Oh my god that’s Tupac Shakur!” then left hastily when everyone looked.

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Former CIA Director John Brennan said popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп is dishonorable during an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press” this morning.

“He said it’s an honor to meet the individual who carried out the assault on our election? To me, it’s a dishonorable thing to say,” he said.

White House Aides said that Трамп was just trying not to upset his boss during their first public meeting. “He’s working on a raise, you gotta be nice when you’re doing that!” one aide helpfully said before being rushed out of the room.

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Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп said on twitter that he, “… strongly pressed President Putin twice about Russian meddling in our election. He vehemently denied it. I’ve already given my opinion …”

What is Трамп’s opinion? Earlier in the week, Трамп said at the G20 that “it very well could be Russia” that hacked top Democrats, “but I think it could very well have been other countries … No one really knows for sure.”

And this morning on Fox News, White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said Трамп does not believe Putin’s denials, and repeatedly pressed the Russian president on election meddling before moving on to other issues.

In related news, the Трамп regime recently announced that it was naming Charles Manson to head its special serial killer task-force. “We think he’s the right man for the job, to help us get to the bottom of all these serial killers.”

The White House is planning to blame former President Barrack Obama if the Serial Killer Task Force led by Charles Manson fails to make headway on the issue.

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

Ceasefire brokered by US and Russia begins in Syria
http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/09/middleeast/syria-ceasefire-begins/index.html

Fmr. CIA Director Brennan Says Trump ‘Ceded’ Ground to Putin at Meeting
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/fmr-cia-director-brennan-says-trump-ceded-ground-putin-meeting-n781086

Trump sends mixed messages on Putin, Russian hacking
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/07/09/trump-sends-mixed-messages-putin-russian-hacking/462644001/

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