YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA | 2017.08.05

Popular vote loser, Russian supported Presidential candidate and aspiring dictator Donald Трамп begins a 17-day vacation golfing today. While he’s away, workers will make renovations to the White House.

Трамп wants every White House toilet gold plated, but says that Mr. Shiney will always hold a special place in his heart. “Mr. Shiney is happiness for my Hiney!”

Before he left, Трамп handed workers pictures of Saddam Hussein’s palace and told them, “Make it look just like this, but imagine me there, instead.”

Aides say that Трамп’s favorite toilet, Mr. Shiney, will be the first to get a gold-plated make-over during his absence.

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On Friday, the Трамп regime officially told the United Nations that the U.S. intends to pull out of the 2015 Paris climate pact.

When asked why they made the announcement, a spokesperson for the Трамп regime said, “We just wanted to remind people that we’re douchebags for a lot of reasons, and not just because we’re white supremacists.”

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Sergey Kislyak, Russia’s former ambassador to Washington, denied Saturday to Russian 24 channel’s “Press Conference” that he had discussed secrets or even the issue of sanctions with now-fired Tрамп regime national security adviser Michael Flynn.

Hello Mr. Putin, I would like to mow your lawn. How is my accent?

When the host of “Press Conference” asked him to confirm that his name was Sergey Kislyak, the ambassador said, “Nyet, my name is Steve Johanson, and I own a landscape gardening business in Pawtucket, Rhode Island.”

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Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

While Trump’s away, ‘much-needed’ White House renovations begin
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/04/politics/trump-white-house-renovations/index.html

U.S. Officially Tells U.N. It Wants out of Paris Climate Deal
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/u-s-officially-tells-u-n-it-wants-out-paris-n789796

Former Russian ambassador Kislyak denies discussing secrets or sanctions with Michael Flynn
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/08/05/former-russian-ambassador-sergey-kislyak-denies-discussing-secrets-sanctions-mike-flynn/542311001/