Discontent Is A Good Thing, NOT!

Have you ever felt that twinge of discontent? If it’s anything like mine, it doesn’t feel good, and you want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

So often you push the feeling of discontent away thinking there is something wrong because it doesn’t feel good. Instead, maybe you ought to welcome it. Maybe it has a useful purpose for you as you ramble along on your life’s journey.

I realize that this may feel counter-intuitive, however, take a moment to explore this concept with me. If you will allow it, discontent can be the beginning of something new on this adventure you call life.

Discontent operates as a force that nudges you out of your comfort zone to explore and embrace new ideas and desires. Since people tend to be creatures of habit; it is often easier to stay the same then it is to risk what might happen with change. The question to ask your self is, if I were to never experience discontent, would I be willing to act in new and bold ways to reach for something I would love to be, do or have?

I would adventure a guess, at least if you’re anything like me, that you wouldn’t be, because the pull towards the familiar is very strong when compared to the discomfort of change. That’s why discontent is such a powerful companion on your journey. It stimulates you to take action rather than continue to be unhappy, frustrated and unsatisfied. So, rather than push away the discontent, let’s use these feelings to find out what you truly want.

How do you do that? You begin by acknowledging and identifying the discontent you feel. Then you start shifting the focus from the discontent of what you don’t want, to the idea of working for what you do want. By making this shift, you move from focusing negatively on an idea to a focusing positively on it, and you literally start moving in the direction of something more pleasing. When you try to get what you want by focusing on what you don’t want, it doesn’t work. Your brain is only capable of focusing on one thing at a time. So, to get what you want, you have to make sure to focus is on what you desire.

Here is an example:

You feel miserable at your job. You are experiencing discontent. As you focus on your discontent you feel bad. The more you look at how miserable you feel about your job, the worse you feel. You try to push it away, to bury it because you convince yourself that you have to keep this job. You think it’s the only one you can get, or you try to convince yourself to hang in there because at least you know what to expect from this job. You have a family to feed. You don’t know what else you would be good at, or where else you could make the kind of money you are making. You feel trapped. The focus on your discontent has caused the pain to grow and you now feel worse.

How can you change this? How can you allow your discontent help you to grow?

Discontent can become the catalyst to move you toward the positive goal you want. It becomes a natural springboard, where you can discover a future career that feels better and more empowering to you. Once you give yourself permission to explore the possibilities more fully, you can also give yourself the time you need to act. In doing do, you allow yourself to shift from one job to another, without creating bigger problems for yourself.

Once you give yourself permission to use your discontent to create positive change in your life, you can begin to ask yourself questions like, “What do I really want to do?” or “What would I be happy doing?” and then listen for the answers.

Maybe, instead of sitting at a desk all day, you want to be outside, or travel to different locations. Maybe, instead of face-to-face customer service, you want to be a trainer or work in the background with very little disturbance. You might want to work with flowers, be a broadcaster, a teacher or an innovator. Who knows what you’ll discover.

The key during this process of discernment is to be curious, and also to be open to the possibilities that come to your mind. Typically at first, most people shut down on the new ideas because they may seem impossible, they think they’ll require too much personal change or that the change might negatively impact members in a family.

Take heart, and realize most of the positive desires that emerge as you shift from looking at your discontents to what it is you truly want will typically feel too big. As a matter of fact, when you first begin to think about your new desires they WILL be too big. Your dreams are natural growth opportunities where you discover more about who you are and what you are capable of becoming. When you start to pay attention to your desires they are generally going to require you to grow into them.

How do you handle that? How do you continue to explore the possibilities for your lives when at first glance they seem overwhelming or impossible? You start by simply focusing on and thinking about what you want. You take time to imagine what it would be like to do what you truly want to do. Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, called it playing in the “Theater of the Mind.” He encouraged spending time everyday imagining what it would be like to do what you would love to be doing instead of using your imagination to continue picturing yourself working at an unfulfilling, dead-end job for the remainder of your work careers. Imagine what it would be like to wake up feeling good and being excited about what you are contributing as you live your life’s work.

Once you have a clear idea of what you want, then on a daily basis you can ask yourself this question,“If I didn’t believe my dream was impossible, what step would I take today to live it?” Then you’d take that step while using your imagination as Dr. Maltz’s suggests, and picture yourself living your dreams.

You’d continue with this three step practice each time you needed direction. You’d clarify what you want by paying attention to the ideas that make you feel good inside. Then you’d imagine what these ideas would look like by making them real in your mind, and then you’d act on the little nudges that arise to help you discern your next step. Before you know it, by practicing these three steps over and over again, you will have accomplished the dreams you are imagining, as they take you far beyond what you first envisioned.

A dream is not achieved the moment it is first desired. It is like climbing to the summit of a mountain. The journey begins long before the actual assent, and then it is climbed one step at a time. Both the journey and the view are worth it.

Let us honor your discontent as the catalyst it is. Let it be the powerful force that nudges you out of your comfort zone to explore and embrace new ideas and desires. Welcome it as a valuable companion on your life’s journey that spurs you on to create and experience another part of this great adventure you call your life.

Rebecca Victor and Your Joyful Path, 2012 to the present date. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Rebecca Victor and Your Joyful Path with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.