Recognise Your Progress & Practice Self Compassion
For every outstanding trait or achievement I have, I could find a thousand ways to undermine it. In the face of 99 positive feedbacks, I could find the one issue to nitpick over. Self criticism has driven me towards great outwards success and respect. It also tore me up inside.
I spent most of my life denying friendship and self compassion to myself. Maybe part of it was to do was my upbringing and cultural heritage. Achievements were always overshadowed by “ You could have done better in xyz area though”, “ Yes, but that was expected. It’s still not good enough” or “Ok, but did everyone else perform?”. It brought me unique achievements and respect. Yet, my mastery of the ignorance of progress eventually held me back.
Fixated on how I wasn’t ‘there’ yet, I focused on how I wasn’t doing enough. The thoughts festered and bubbled, eventually it evolved into a belief that maybe, I wasn’t enough.
I was lucky though. I had friends that believed in me. I had ones that pulled me into a tight embrace and reminded me, “You know what, I think you’re doing great. Take a look behind us to see the steps you’ve made. You are exactly where you need to be.” I am eternally grateful for those patient and compassionate souls.
But I wonder, why can’t we be that friend to ourselves?
We could.
We should.
There may be a million things you have screwed up. That doesn’t take away the one thing that you did well.
The world could be a brighter place if we became better friends to ourselves. It could teach us a thing or two about being kinder and more understanding to those around us too.
Next time you think to yourself “ I should be” or “ I shouldn’t be”, try changing it to “You know what, yes, I’m not where I ideally want to be yet. I’m making progress in xyz though.”
Be a little more kind and patient with yourself. The world won’t end if you do. In fact, maybe it’ll start spinning again.
