Your Assumptions Are Killing You
“Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble.” — Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy
I was convinced that I was useless. No, worse. That I was deadweight, shackle & chain. “ No one likes a party pooper. People always leave. You’re pathetic company. You always screw up. Your friends have better and more important things to do with their lives. You’re just holding everyone back”, I told myself. My chest physically aches while revisiting the memory. It destroyed me when I believed it.
I listed out each significant person and justified why they would be perfectly fine without me. I searched for an instance or trait that proved me right. To each of them, I wrote letters goodbye.
Yet, recently, I met up with each one and spoke truthfully about what I went through and their response was not at all what the depressed-me expected.
Bitten lips, furrowed brows and tears.“ I didn’t know…” Their torn expressions spoke volumes louder than their words.
“ I never told you.”
It’s hard to express that I genuinely believed they wouldn’t care. That they could just shake me off — the memories and emotions. They look at me as though I had sprouted two heads for having possessed such crazy beliefs. The truth is I thought too little of myself and so I assumed the worst. Honest conversations proved me wrong, and I’m glad I was.
The thing is, assumptions are our inner guide to interpret the world. They are our navigator as we encounter foreign situations and unfamiliar people. They are in every way a normal part of us. They’re simply born from our beliefs. Yet we also have to recognise that while many assumptions are sound and justified, an equal portion are probably not.
Not all that you believe is true and not all that you see is real. For the sake of your own self, challenge your assumptions and fight to gather proof. It may mean baring your already battered heart and ignoring your wailing mind. It may mean confronting your most secret and unspeakable fears and putting aside your disbelief. You might break a few hearts and cause a few tears. But in return for questioning your most fundamental beliefs, you may discover it’s not as bad as it all appears.
