How I Finally Found Who I Am
My goal by writing these words is to inspire you and make you realize how powerful and magnificent you truly are. If someone had taught me this every time I felt alone, awkward, different, and scared, my life would have totally changed.
I remember spending most of my childhood and teenage years wanting to fit in, never feeling good enough and having the need to prove myself to others, coupled with an extremely high degree of perfectionism and dissatisfaction.
When I was 15, I could not stand it anymore, and I developed an eating disorder that lasted for the next half of my life. No matter how much support I received from my loved ones and friends, this nightmare would not go away.
I tried mending my fears and obsessions around food by trying every diet out there, which only made it worse. I thought that dieting, detoxing, eating alkaline, whole natural foods and cleansing would solve all my problems and bring me to a place of peace. Finally, the misery that all of this brought me was too big for my heart, and I surrendered. This was my breaking point, and it was when miracles started to happen.
I had asked for sincere help, and the Universe answered. All of a sudden, I came across the right teacher, the right book, the right place, and my consciousness started shifting. At first, my fears were too big, which kept me stuck, but I literally started feeling inspired towards doing what I needed in order to feel alive again.
I realized that I am much more than what I thought I was. I am not only a body, but an infinite, powerful, loving being expressing myself in this world through my body. As a result of this deeply felt realization, I started having the most positive relationship with myself and food. I finally realized who I truly was.
We are powerful creators, and we can choose the reality we want to live while we are here on Earth. For me, rejecting and punishing myself was not a choice anymore; I wanted to look and feel healthy and radiant, but most of all, I wanted to feel wholeness, peace and ease in my everyday life.
So I followed my heart, trusted, surrendered, and went after my dreams. I stopped looking for answers from the outside and instead I started listening to my heart. I finally realized that our external word is a reflection of our internal state. And guess what? My eating disorder vanished, my fertility came back after many years of absence, and I feel more free and peaceful than ever before! My life started soaring, my relationships flourishing, and I know this is just the start! Looking back, this struggle was my biggest gift, as it brought me back to my essence.
I discovered that my struggles were the doorway that led me to my Spirit and the vastness of my being. I learned that there is no one size that fits all and all you have to do is listen to what feels good for you without judgment or labels. It all starts on the inside, remembering who we truly are.
I will never give my power away to others, because now I know that I already am everything that I am looking for, and so are you. We all have our own unique experiences, different backgrounds, different dreams and desires, and when we honor and go after what feels right for us individually, we are heading for miracles.
Much Love,
Monica
